friendlysupernatural

show show - daphne loves derby

2007-05-02T14:17:00.002+08:00

i won't say a word;
coz i don't wanna lose what we have left

if you'll be my love,
i'll be yours
if you need your space
i'll face a distance
it's not that i'm brave
i just finally realised

.....

so much for 'stick around' huh? lol. i'm sorry i haven't been posting here, unless you count those short excerpts from songs and few little thoughts penned down, then okay i've been blogging.

but i hardly count them as post-worthy.

so much has happened over this long stretch of my absence here, and i won't know how to begin also? so much to say, so much to tell; some i doubt even words can describe. okay let's see, where to begin. there was the heartache, and then the cleab break, and the in-between silence.

but after every sunset, there'll be a sunrise - and i think things are getting bright for me! =D

Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested in only the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival,

because life is the moment we're living right now

superman - five for fighting

2007-04-02T09:43:00.000+08:00

even heros have the right to bleed.

daphne loves derby

2007-03-21T10:49:00.001+08:00

is this the end of everything i loved?

why yes it is.

2007-03-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

Pacific sun
You should have warned us these heights are dizzying
& the climb can kill you long before the fall
& our trails go unmarked and unmapped, &
Covered just as soon as they are crossed

Oh, how we shouted, how we screamed
Take notice, take interest, take me with you
When all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight

2007-03-14T16:57:00.001+08:00

boys lie - matter of fact

Learning to Breathe - Switchfoot

2007-03-02T00:28:00.000+08:00

now playing| Learning to Breathe
artist| Switchfot
mood| final

"& all of my regrets are nothing new"
----------

hello, good morning, how you do?
what makes your risin' sun so new?
i could use a fresh beginning too
all of my regrets are nothing new

so this is a way, that I say I need You

that i'm learning to breathe, i'm learning to crawl
i'm finding that you
and you alone can break my fall
I'm Living Again, Awake & Alive
i'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

i never, never thought that
i would fall like that
never knew that i could hurt this bad

this is a way that i say i need you
this is a way that i say i love you
This Is The Way That I Say I'm Yours

.....

the end of an era. the end of this. i've moved to livejournal because blogger isn't derek-friendly anymore. but i'll prefer to keep it much quieter.

i'll still be posting here, every now and then? but i don't think they'll be anymore interesting than a book on computer applications. life has thrown me around on a roller coaster ride, one i won't easily forget - and can't forget.

i'd like to enjoy the rest of these alone. it's funny 'coz i think i'm somehow attached to this place. like i forementioned in a previous post, i come here to drown all my fears. if anybody said being attached to something lifeless, something that's just plain material is impossible, it's not true. okay i wouldn't say i'm attached, but i wouldn't say i have no feelings for soul-displaced. it has, in more ways than one, helped me moved on and start living my life bravely again. but i think now i need a new destination, i want to start living somewhere nobody knows who i am.

i've tried /latenightroads, but it didn't seem to work out like i wanted it to be. i never wanted to say goodbye.

where'd you go?
i miss you so
seems like it's been forever
that you've been gone

where'd you go?
please, come back home

when you come back,
i ~~won't~~ will be here

=] i suspect i wouldn't leave this place barren, i'll come back once in awhile, & to everyone who does read my blog and not glance, i thank you sincerely. even more for commentors. i'll see you around then. sayonara.

empty apartment - yellowcard

2007-02-27T15:49:00.000+08:00

you stay inside the one you love,
it's where you hide

take you away from that empty apartment you stay
and forget where the heart is
someday,
if ever you loved me - you'd say
"it's okay"

answer no to these questions
let her go - learn a lesson
can't you see, something's missing
you forget where the heart is

waking up from this nightmare
how's your life,
what's it like there?
is it all that you want it to be
DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ME
& HOW BROKEN MY HEART IS?

it's okay to be angry and never let go
it only gets harder the more that you know

something beautiful - cauterize

2007-02-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

now playing| something beautiful
artist| cauterize
mood| hungry

"& that you needed a change, you left without good-bye "
----------

scream or a cry
the truth or a lie
i'm not sure they will save us this time
i don't wanna be around
when it all comes down
to watch something beautiful die

you said the only way is to run away
you're sick of me so you just can't
stick around to hear me pleading
i'm pleading
does it show; i'm pathetic i know
i just can't stand here watch you go
i'm running after you

.....

i've gone through my first paper, & it wasn't as bad as i thought i'd be thank God. i'm gonna be sitting for 3 more papers this week, and afterwhich i'll be free. though i'm not so sure i'll be able to get pass tuesday swimmingly. accounts, numbers, math, they were never my trump cards - but i guess i'll just have to play around with luck and WITS. =] i have Jeslin to thank for that, my miracle tutor.

i can't wait for tuesday's paper to pass on over, and wednesday coz i finally can rest a day without studying. Microeconomic's not all that difficult to study, like management. It's a whole lot of words, and graphs, and comprehension - but i think i'm just telling myself this just so i can feel more at ease.

weekends just got through, and i feel pretty bad 'coz i didn't spend most of it studying for papers. but it wasn't at all wasted, lah!.

my ATM card got sucked into that damn machine because i wasn't fast enough. actually it was 'coz i was too engrossed with the number on the receipt. all the CNY money just makes my heart skip each time i see the amount. so i was really careful, counting and checking my wallet to see if i missed out any notes, and then i realised i left the card in that slot-thing. i reached out, but before my finger came even close to contact, it slided into oblivion.

NO MORE MONEY FOR YOU, DEREK. =[ so now, i have money, but i can't access it. and i haven't got time to visit the bank to make a new card because i have exams. but it's kinda like an insurance, i know i won't be spending it?

AS LONG AS I'M WITH YOU, BABY =]

tiger lily - matchbook romance

2007-02-24T16:03:00.000+08:00

now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| very, confused

"smell the tiger lily; once more"
----------

we drive tonight; & you are by my side
we're talking about our lives
like we've known each other forever
time flies by
at the sound of your voice
it's close to paradise
with the end surely near

AND IF I COULD ONLY STOP THE CAR
& hold on to you
i'll never let go
if i had it my way, i'd turn the car around also,
& run away,
just you and i.

.....

Run run run, as fast as your short legs can carry you.

you got me confused. you got me really messed up. you got my heart flutter a minute and drown in my own screams the next.

but you've got me. i'm so tired.

always something - switchfoot

2007-02-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

There's always something in the way
There's always something
getting through
but it's not me
it's You

sometimes ignorance
rings true
but hope is not in what i know
it's not in me
it's in You

i find peace when i'm confused
i find hope;
when i'm let down
it's in you

I HOPE TO LOSE MYSELF FOR GOOD;
i hope to find it in the end
in You

it's all i know

your call - secondhand serenade

2007-02-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

now playing| your call
artist| secondhand serenade
mood| -

"& this solitary moment makes me want to come back home"
----------

Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember?
Butterflies, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

Speak with your tongue tied, i know you're tired
So tell me where you want to go.
To be away, or be with me

.....

i have it thrown back in my fucking face again.

you know i still treat you like a friend. why must it be that when everything's just fine and dandy, your words (however meaningless) still bleaks my situation thinner than it already is? i don't know if you really DO care, or you just want to seem like you do. sometimes things are better left unsaid, if you decide to share it at a halfpoint. i'm not good at foresight, and i was never able to discern well.

i don't know what guard to keep up, because it's wrong to keep your guard up when you expect someone to keep it down. i don't know HOW to keep it up. why should it be a battle, it was never meant to be one. why is it everything's lonliness with me?

i guess sometime i try too hard, but it always carries on and on? I was told to be bright eyed happiness and smiles for everyone - but sometimes i can't find anything to laugh at.

you know you made it worse today, alot worse.

christmas lights - daphne loves derby

2007-02-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

now playing| christmas lights
artist| daphne loves derby
mood| -

"just tell me that, you need me too; you're gone for too long"
----------

& i need to you to be back home with me now
this snow outside;
means nothing when you're gone

everything comes into place when you're around,
at least for me it does -
maybe it's because you don't need me like i need you

& JUST ONCE I WOULD LIKE TO BE SOMETHING;
& I WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH ME

.....

maybe for once i should try to listen to myself more. & not trust what's happening around so much, because people lie. matter of fact. and situations don't always seem the way they are, the way you want to see them, or the way it looks.

& the way you decide to deal with what you see, counts a lot.

i used to run away when i'm scared, & i dealt with suspicions and insufficient affirmation with haste - which usually backfires.

don't you?

i know we all do, well at least i know i used to. now picture this, picture something you really want. a bike? cellphone? something you'd kill to have. you pray for it, for like forever - and in the end you think to yourself, wouldn't it be easier to just steal it, and then pray for forgiveness later on?

that's how we work. we always find the easy way out.

i grew up, and i don't think i'd ever think the same way as i do before. & i know i'm not making any sense, but i feel better just writing it all down. it's the only way i can come to terms with what i feel, when i write, i think and i reason with the only thing sane in my mind. although most of the time things don't just solve itself like that, but it makes me a lot happier knowing that i'm dealing with it rationally. like how it's supposed to be dealt with.

who needs screaming arguments and flying forks? -pfft-

i don't need to think so much, i don't have to think so much, but why do i still do? i doubt it's because i've a bigger brain because that'd be pretty obvious considering i've a small head and my brain'd be spilling out. it's probably due to my family, i love them, but - yeah. [insert story]

i don't know when to hold my tongue, or when not to. so i can only drown all my fears here, and still hope that i'd be able to end my day/days with someone i care about, while waiting through all these alone, but it's not like i'm not used to it already.

do i sound emo? because i'm not. i'm actually ~~pretty happy~~ FUCKING happy with what i have, and who i have now. but we cannot rule out days when we'd be afraid of the dark, and what's to come. so come those days, i'll come to this coast - because i know whatever i say would eventually get lost in a this sea of entries. it'd be forgotten like a bad dream. but even so, i still feel better typing it down.

it's the only time i'd feel alive when it's so dark. i don't need to bleed like goths, or cry about the darkness - i know i can take care of myself. i'm not a kid anymore. knowing very well the night could freeze before we set fire, i'd be prepared. armed. even though my fears would fall on deaf ears, somehow, i know you'll be there.

whether you speak or not (you usually don't), i still feel better when i'm around you & when you're around.

because things don't get all spinny anymore.

demolition lover - mcr

2007-02-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

now playing| demolition lover
artist| mcr
mood| burst

"but prove myself to you; and we'll keep it running on"
----------

hands in mine into your icy blues,
& then i'd say to you
we can take it to the highway with this trunk of ammunition too

i'd end my days with you - in a hail of bullets

.....

okay. in 5mins time it's probably gonna be a wonderful day for everyone everywhere. but it's gonna be just another one of those days for me.

words are only, those words? right? but sometimes it can be powerful enough, just a simple comment, would render the meaningful meaningless.

i will keep training hard now, and study for my exams.

thank you Esther, for accompanying me all around Bugis Junction. it's good to catch up with old friends, and it was nice just sitting down anywhere, with the wind in our hair and our breath catching the cool breeze, and talk. just talk - and for a moment we'll feel like we're home.

i can't take the distance, i can't take the miles, i can't take the time until the next time i see you smile. i can't take the distance, i'm not ashamed - that i can't take a breath without saying your name.

i can brave a hurricane, & still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down, but i cannot take the distance.

okay, maybe i can. i don't know what i'd do without you OBZ. thanks for always being there, and i know you're going through some rough patch now, but you'll survive beautifully like always, alright? you're always gonna be my cousin, and remember our deal!

we hooked fingers! when we're all ripe and 30, and you see me all alone! YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! =]

And for Valentines, here's something for you to wonder:

Love is always patient, Love is always kind, Love is never envious Or vaunted up with pride. Nor is she conceited, And never is she rude, Never does she think of self Or ever get annoyed. She never is resentful, Is never glad with sin, But always glad to side with truth, Whene'er the truth should win. She bears up under everything, Believes the best in all, There is no limit to her hope, And never will she fall.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

maybe i feel just too much, & i don't think anyone should. it's not supposed to be this hard this early.

but really. do you dream i would be there, just for a minute or two, do you?

saints and sailors - dashboard confessionals

2007-02-12T10:01:00.000+08:00

now playing| saints and sailors
artist| dashboard confessionals
mood| good

"don't say that everything's working, when everything's broken"
----------

& this apartment,
is starving for an argument
anything at all to break the silence

your eyes says the jokes on me
but i'm not laughing
you're not leaving -
who do i think, i'm kidding?

.....

i hate the new blogger, or maybe it's coz i hate changes. change scares me, and i get all neurotic. ignore the little blue rectangular box a the upper right hand corner - like i said, i hate the new blogger.

okay blog mood's gone. i'll update soon, i promise.

come winter - daphne loves derby

2007-02-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

now playing| come winter
artist| daphne loves derby
mood| been better

"i dream of the past & wish that i was there"
----------

the first day of fall is the last day i'll kiss the sky
the cold air surprises my bones have been spoiled by the summer's heat
the sun hides its face,
& i'll hide mine too
sooner or later this winter will rain down and leave me to wait for one year

i am burning the letters of days gone by
i'm so sorry,
but I'm scared that my heart will regret the things that i've done
breathe in all of the ashes of my mistakes
gently collapse;
so no one will notice that you're falling too short of your breath
i've wasted so much more time dreaming than living

so cherish these days,
enjoy every breath like it will be the last of your life
never look back because you won't forget why you cried

.....

before i began this post, i drank about 4cups of water, switched on my air-conditioner and switched to my table lamp, don't ask me why? i just feel more comfortable this way, and only when i'm at ease would i be able to think properly how to put from pen to paper what i'm thinking.

exams are coming, and in about a few weeks time i'd be school-less. i would love to call for joy, but right now my mind's fixed on issues more pressing than holidays - like exams? for example. am i ready? well, i'd like to think i am, but who am i to kid? procrastinating seems to be the middle name of most teenagers i know to
day, oh i'll do it tomorrow, oh i have time, oh this can wait, oh why don't we eat some dung?

i need to start, and soon.

training has resumed, and i'm more than happy to be back.

valentine's coming. i can't remember when was the last time i actually spent it well with a special person? or how, even. boy am i behind in the news. i've never actually been a lucky-in-love person, or maybe it always has been me. am i going about it the wrong way?

now, it's my turn, to be afraid. i'm scared shitless, and i don't wanna be lonely, nor do i wanna be alone again. i don't wanna be those guys in the movies, & i stopped beliving in romeos and heroes anymore.

now, it just feels like i'm waiting through all of my bad, bad days just to end them with someone i care about, but sometimes it's so far away.

and sometimes, even God may seem worlds apart.

lullaby - pedro the lion

2007-02-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

now playing| lullaby
artist| pedro the lion
mood| ok

"it's uphill, both ways"
----------

rest in me, little ~~david~~
& dry all your tears
you can lay down your armour
& have no fear
'cause i'm always here when you're tired;
of running;
i'm all the strength that you need

.....

i'm so tired, i don't know why, but it seems as if all these weariness just wears itself off each time my head hits the pillow. it's really annoying, you wanna sleep, but each time you try, each time you fail. horrible, just horrible.

okay, writer's block. farewell.

the greatest story ever told - oliver james

2007-01-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

now playing| the greatest story ever told
artist| oliver james
mood| tired

"if i could have one dance forever, i'd take you by your hand"
----------

& if i lived a thousand years
you know i never could explain
the way I lost my heart to you;
that day
but if destiny decided
i should look the other way

then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told

& did I tell you that I love you tonight?

there are a few many interesting things that happens to me in my life, and of which the most interesting ones i'd handpick and share them with you, lovely readers. Y

1) i hold interesting online conversations with my cousin. here's one of the most recent;

D: it's like, in my iPond onlly (yes, typo)
D: i dunno how to transfer to iTunes
D: sucks lah (& yes, i do speak singlish)
J: iPOND
J: =0
D: oops
J: LOL
D: HAHAHAHH
J: wahahahahaha
J: what hell is an iPOND (jeez)
J: 0_o
D: iPod's sister (WELL at least i'm funnier than you kthnx)
J: -.-

& then we carry on laughing for about 5 mins before we got over it, & you think that's bad? we're worse offline. tsk, haha. OBZ you suck, lah.

2) we finally progressed to a K-boat. it's slim, streamlined, and ultrafuckinghard to balance on, but we all start off this way don't we? or so we hear. training today wasn't bad at all, though my beloved partner Darren couldn't make it down due to excessive project pile-ups and project mates who loved him so much, they wouldn't let him leave - i took a K2 (a double boat) with my vice captain, the wonderfully terrific superhero foo Jingting. we weren't bad at all, although i silently suspect the fact that we were able to perform better than expectations is solely contributed by her. she's been on K boats longer than i have, an naturally she'd be able to balance better.

i'll get there, i swear!

3) i called my best friend after school today. wow, how interesting is that? well, it's mysteriously baffling because i called her RIGHT at the moment she thought about me, talk about telepathy huh?

4) i finally met someone who'd stop me from all these spinning around. talk about epiphany, man. we all learn something new everyday, don't we now? -sniggers-

interesting enough? well, savvy that, i have more to come.

piano song - the juliana theory

2007-01-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

now playing| cinderella story
artist| plain white T's
mood| better

"well it's just another one of those days"
----------

i'll be true, i'll be useful,
i'll be your cavalier; i'll be yours my dear;
& i'll belong to you if you just let me through
this is easy as lovers go
this is wonderful as loving goes - this is tailor made
& i said,

"i gotta be honest, i've been waiting for you all of my life"

so are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?

.....

so much has happened over the pass few days, the excitement, the nervousness all picking up speed, and then all in a day, everything we've worked so hard for finally paid off - i believe we all did NYP Kayaking proud, one way or another. Medal holders, or not. Because we demonstrated the perseverance so needed to carry on, and we motivated each other through and throughout the race, that, in itself, is more valuable than all the gold, silver and bronze medal all put together if you ask me. there are winners, and there are winners. those who won medals, Congratualations, but let's not forget we've also won each other over. i doubt i'd be able to find any other team mates i'd be able to work with and train with across the face of this planet - sure it sounds cliche, but it's true.

isn't this so much better than a medal?

on a lighter note, exams are coming, projects are piling up and it's time to take these into a higher level of control since race is behind me now, of course i'll still train hard, but i'd have better put in more effort in school work, because without a place in NYP, i'd be a camel in north pole. cold, and lost, and shrivelled. LOL. -points-

i've never been happier after so long. after ending a once-beautiful relationship, all that i had taken out of it were memories that still burns a little if brought up. & there was the moving on that was difficult also, because like it or not, your past always, always catches up with you - this never ceases to amaze me. but i did, i moved on, and am in a better place now.

i'd complain, and whine, and sulk the whole day but i know very well, at the end of the day, i'd see your smiling face and everythingi'll be okay. all the little things, all the big things (penned at knifepoint), all of this and all of that - all my Everglow, in you.

eleven - taking back sunday

2007-01-28T15:27:00.000+08:00

now playing| eleven
artist| taking back sunday
mood| fucked

"did the mean to you, wrapping my arms around your body?"
----------

[edit]i don't think anyone else could've made me smile, so tell me your secret, how did you do it? it all seemed better, and it all seemed right when i'm with you.[/edit]

maybe it wasn't good enough
but i gave ~~you~~ it all i could

we did try, did we not? & someone said it's not by chance we should win, but my choice - but i certainly didn't choose to sink, or lose.

i gave it all, i did, didn't i?

did i?

2007-01-25T01:22:00.000+08:00

why does tonight have to end?
why don't we hit restart
& pause it at our favourite parts
we'll skip the goodbyes

if i had it my way i'd turn the car around
& run away
just you and i

taste of tears - cauterize

2007-01-23T20:35:00.000+08:00

now playing| taste of tears
artist| cauterize
mood| sick

"i need you; i bleed you - i would give up breathing for you"
----------

if you could take my breath
and hold it in

i need to be inside of you

untimely (un-time-lee)
adj. untimelier, untimeliest

-Occurring or done at an inappropriate time; inopportune.
-Occurring too soon; premature: an untimely death.

...

untimely. that's what it is, the sore throat, the raging phlegm (kaa-pui), the headaches and feverish light-headedness, untimely. with only a handful of days left til the race, & i just have to fall sick now. i swear, if this doesn't pull over soon i'll drive straight off the edge - straight off.

well at least i won't be having school on thursday and friday, i'd have ample rest time. but shouldn't i be training hard for the last bit just before the marathon? if i do, what if i don't get well before the race - i hate this. i am FUH-REEK-ING out, fuck, i'll be tweek - and pull my hair out. arghh!

if you don't watch southpark, you're a loser.

i've been through/in a few non-functional and almost-shortlived relationships, & i'm pretty tired of it. it's funny how at one moment you feel closer to a person more than anyone else in the world (yes even your own mother), and the next moment you're never talking to them again - and it's ironic because when you're in it you actually do feel like you know, even for a second, that it's gonna last forever - even though you know you're just "saying it". but how many fairytales really do go on without an end? we can only cross our fingers and hope we'd end up like most fairytales, happily ever after - not the other way around.

i can't remember why, but i know i made myself promise never to fall hard and fast again - because:

1) you fall, you hurt

2) you can't be certain he/she would catch your fall

3) haste only makes things worse

4) self-preservation, like a - defence mechanism

but no, nothing is ever that simple. it's like, being on a diet - you struggle, and you force - with every fibre of your being - yourself not to go for the last fries, or the last wing, you'd fail inevitably in the end, well most of the time anyway.

sad to say, i've got little determination, and perhaps, i just want to know there'll be someone i can run to at the end of the day, someone i can call my own, someone who tells me everything'll be okay, who stands up for me - and someone who i can do all these back to.

so how would you know if you've found your supernova? we can never be a 100% sure, but i'd take my chances. afterall, it's all in the moment, and if it doesn't work out - i'll take what i need and be a man, and move on.

but for now, thing's just won't do........ won't do without you - matter of fact. if you walk out on me, i'm walking after you.

the closest thing - the juliana theory

2007-01-20T14:28:00.000+08:00

now playing| the closest thing
artist| the juliana theory
mood| zonked

"the closest thing to perfect"
----------

i'd love to be;
the shoulder that you cry on
i'd love to be
the one you call when things are great

if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away?
i'd write it all

saturday afternoons are almost always for sleeping, taking a good nap after a morning filled with running, rowing, and training. i'm not complaining, neither am i saying it's boring, it just is. & i know (even myself) reading this, you might think it's a boring life, i wouldn't blame you - it would seem so to anyone.

i think it's routined - but definately not boring.

A WEEK LONG EMBRACE

this week went by unlike any other week, i'd put all my good weeks before together and it wouldn't even come close when put in comparison to this. hallelujah to the mirror. one more week to the marathon, my very first race - oh boy. my heart feels like it's doing bunny hops all over when i think about it, honey bunny.

your star it seems to shine above the rest

after the race, we'd have our favourite chinese new year (for chinese, anyways). why? don't look at me blankly and try to pretend you don't know what i'm talking about, jackasses. every~~one~~ kid look forward to this day because we'd get red packets, with money. REAL MONEY. not golden chocolate coins we get in primary school after singing gong-xi-ni and he-xing-nian 3234908230842times over. still it isn't worth it, i mean, chocolate coins?

you're the beauty that is deeper
than eyes can merely see

right after my hongbao collecting spree, comes the terrifying E-word. The one that brings chills down student's spine, the midnight-oil-devil, the last minute mugging, & in case you haven't figured out what word is is - it's Examination, you dimwit. so now, i'll stop rambling, and please allow me the chance to wallow in self pity.

you're the smile i'd like to earn

so'long for now.

ice kachang - kopi kat klan

2007-01-18T10:29:00.000+08:00

now playing| ice kachang
artist| kopi kat klan
mood| smitten

"so i didn't eat, use my little wit, to write this little bit"
----------

[edit]oh God my virgin eyes has been de-virginized![/edit]

you are my ice kachang
in this tropical heat
you are my favourite desert
so inviting; so sweet
would you like to bobo chacha,
come along and dance with me
for you are my love
my one atachi -
someone i like to eat

i feel bad, because right as i'm typing these words, a lecture i'm supposed to be attending would start, one in which i have no intention of going - pah.

everything seems so new suddenly, just a few days (or perhaps weeks) before, i could still remember complaining about the very routined life i lead. then just 4days before present, everything i've believed to be boring changed. hah! you must be thinking it's just "for the moment", and i won't say it's not true either. but it's different when you're in it. No?

after everything i've gone through (which isn't much actually considering i'm only 18), i thought perhaps people just come and go, & it used to be painful that no one stays, but i got over that a long time ago. it just didn't seem worth it, so i thought, since people do come and go, why bother entertaining them? & so i got down to make a list of stuff i'd rather do. I wanted to concentrate on canoeing, and studying, and not neglect friends whom i've distant from.

OH, but what i want to do now is SO different. not exactly different, i still wanna canoe well, and study well (DUH?). it's just probably additional. i'll wake up in the morning, everyday, look into the mirror and say:

"derek. i love you"

well i do!

so now i'm only interested in having dinner with Cheryl at fish and co. and our holland V date.

bruised - jacks mannequin

2007-01-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

now playing| bruised
artist| jacks mannequin
mood| =D

"oh pilot can you help me, can you make this LAST"
----------

I might finally stop all these spinning around.

&

No i don't wanna be a pilot ,lah, pls. lol.

a lonely september - plain white T's

2007-01-14T01:02:00.000+08:00

now playing| a lonely september
artist| plain white T's
mood| wondering

"i didn't mean to fall in love, but i did"
----------

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight

I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

the rain has gotten so much heavier since morning, and it's been pouring non-stop. i'd be surprised if it isn't gonna last for a few more days. the wet weather's making me nostalgic and ... high. & all i wanna do is eat more bacons. *crunch crunch*

oh boy, the excitement rages as the race draws near, and i can hardly keep ~~my pants up~~ my head together. i've been thinking about getting a job during the holidays for a really long time, but each time school vacation commences, i never actually put my plans into action. it's always 'all talk' and i doubt i'd be able to really earn any extra money if i keep whining but not actually DOING anything. but the problem still remains. how am i gonna be able to juggle school, trainings, and work all at the same time while upkeeping my social life? well i suppose i wouldn't be fretting much about school since i'm beginning my year 2.

yippee.

what would you do if you were me?

the everglow - mae

2007-01-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

now playing| the everglow
artist| mae
mood| nothing

"& every action begs a reaction"
----------

MAYBE IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH BUT I GAVE YOU ALL I COULD

haley - need to breathe

2007-01-12T10:36:00.000+08:00

now playing| haley
artist| need to breathe
mood| hungry

"don't brace a fall that you may never want to land"
----------

i have completely forgotten how to blog. after a long, hard break away from the world wide web. how to start? how to end? what to say? but i believe it's all coming back.

well, i'm hoping so anyway.

actually it might also be due to the fact that nothing interesting has happened since school started this term, and on top of that, all the tests and projects coming up, i'd much rather not talk about it, wouldn't you? besides, why would anyone want to read long and uninteresting posts about homework piles, stacks of unread notes and people cracking under pressue? pah, sadists.

i have no more bacons for breakfast, i'm going crazy, and i will ramble on and on because i have nothing more to say.

the secret's in the telling - dashboard confessionals

2007-01-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

now playing| the secret's in the telling
artist| dashboard confessionals
mood| wavering

"we love in secret names; we hide within our veins"
----------

only 18 more days to the National Kayak Race. I would be lying if i said i wasn't the least bit freaked out, but i guess the excitement of it all might just be enough to override it.

time to get over yourself, d.

tiger lily - matchbook romance

2007-01-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| hung

"& accept "someday somehow", as the words that we'll hang from"
----------

i don't believe for a second anyone came back after the first few days of my closing of the blog, and i don't blame you. i'd give up after awhile. afterall, we can't wait forever can we now?

i hate life without a laptop. and the fact that i wasn't the one who spoiled it doesn't help much either. school's been rather monotonous, with the oncoming race and trainings (increased), everything seems almost as gloomy as the grey skies out the front window. although i've had times during the last week of holidays that i wish wouldn't go away, but everyone has to give way to time in the end. a sad fact of life, & i'm still left hanging.

we drive tonight
& you are by my side
we're talking about our lives
like we've known each other forever
time flies by
with the sound of your voice
it's close to paradise
with the end surely near

& if i can only stop the car and hold on to you
i'll never let go

WHY DOES TONIGHT HAVE TO END
why don't we hit restart
& pause it at our favourite parts
we'll skp the goodbyes
if i had it my way i'd turn the car around and run away
just you and i

but nah, i don't want to make things any worse

if we are the body - casting crowns

2007-01-01T20:59:00.000+08:00

now playing| if we are the body
artist| casting crowns
mood| hopeful

"if we are the body, why aren't this arms reaching?"
----------

for christmas

as little children
we'll dream of christmas morn'n
of all the gits and toys
we knew we'd find
but we never realise;
a baby born one blessed night
gave us the greatest gift of our lives

we are the reason that he gave his life
we are the reason that he suffered and died
to the world that was lost he gave all he could give
to show us the reason to live

as the years go by
we learn more about him
and the giving of the son
& what that means
on a dark and cloudy day
a man hung dying in the rain
because of love; all because of love

i finally found a reason for living
it's in giving every part of my heart to him
in all that i do
every word that i say
i'll be giving my all just for him

happy birthday, Jesus

christmas is coming, & every year, with the nearing of this festive season, i get a tad bit emotional, because once you've tasted God, you can never really get away from him. and you can never forget the true spirit of Christmas.

for betweens

find my old home here.

for the new year

you're everything to me; much more
than a story
more than words on a page of history

does tonight really have to end?

happy new year Derek, happy new year. & you know fully well yourself, it's about time you left it all behind.

leave me abandoned to your song.

only hope - switchfoot

2006-12-08T10:39:00.000+08:00

now playing| only hope
artist| switchfoot
mood| brand new

"so i lay my head back down, and i lift my hands and pray"
----------

sing to me the song of the stars
of your galaxy
dancing and laughing again

when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me the plans
that you have for me over again

the first post after the grand reopening, yikes.

you know how you crave blogging so much, and when you finally get your browser to load the page up nicely, everything lodged in your mind that was supposed to be written here vanishes, so instead of an interesting post you end up whining about how ideas get flushed away before you can pen them down - like what i'm doing now.

on a (way) different note, i think dreams are pretty much elusive. for example, i remember i had a pretty ineteresting dream yesterday night, but just as my head leaves the comfort of my pillow - everything turns enigmatic. and all i have etched in my memory is a lot of flying around, but nothing else. the funny thing is, i know it's way more than flying, and i know it's interesting, but what is it about? nothing in details. just bits and pieces everywhere.

ever after

2006-11-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

until the last resilient hope
is frozen deep inside my bones
& this broken fate has claimed me
& my memories for its own
your name is pounding through my veins
can't you hear how it is sung?
and i can taste you in my mouth
before these words escape my lungs
and i'll whisper only once

i resent this, but i admit my defeat. would this hiatus prove redeemable again?

the last song ever - secondhand serenade

2006-11-05T17:24:00.000+08:00

now playing| the last song ever
artist| secondhand serenade
mood| good

"i'd tell you how i feel, without saying a word"
----------

the way that i feel tonight so down
i pray i can swim just so i won't drown
in the waves that crash over me
i'm gasping for air
take my hand so i can breath
as i write this last song down

& i saw the tears on your face
i shot you down
i slammed the door but couldn't make a sound
so please stay sweet my dear
don't hate me now
i can't tell how, this last song ends

i finally managed to stay home for a whole, entire day today. & much to my surprise, it wasn't boring at all. i guess my homely self hasn't really surfaced until now. i got up in the morning, and noticed my room wasn't at all all i wanted it to be, the chairs, tables, beds - everything - was planned by my mom, and she shifts their positions as and when she likes it. well not that i'd condemn her for doing so, but it's my room, i should be the one placing things where i want, when i want. so after branch, i decided "hey, since i've nothing much to do, why don't i remake my room into the one i always wanted it to be?"

it took me the whole fucking day, & i'm still not done yet. & probably won't be done for the next few months because i'm deciding to repaint, refurnish, and buy new stuffs for my room. what does this mean? you ask me. it just means i need to get a job and earn some money so i can actually do so. but my schedule's so tight, how am i ever gonna get it on? WELL, if there's a will, there's a way - this cliche doesn't derive itself from nothingness. i need to get mor organized.

i made a list (and checked it twice, i'm gonna find out whose naughty and nice - okay whatever) of things i need to buy, do, or am gonna do for my room.

this whole week went by pretty quickly, with loads of school and trainings and fun with friends. it couldn't be better, and i wish it will be like this forever.

broken - secondhand serenade

2006-10-31T14:22:00.000+08:00

now playing| broken
artist| secondhand serenade
mood| bored

"i can see in your eyes you're ready to break; don't look away"
----------

it's unusual for me to blog so soon after i've last posted, but i've been driven to this by the fact that i'm having a 6-fuckin'-hour computer lesson, learning Microsoft Words. i wouldn't be surprised if i died prematurely because of this, with no offence to the teacher - but he's boring. he speaks as if we were right in front of his face, soft and light. & i suspect he's tone deaf, & as much as i'd like to pay attention with every fibre of my being, i can't. my short attention span can see to that, i get distracted easily, & it's not all that hard to do so when you're crunching numbers, & typing templates in the middle of the day when we both know we'd rather be doing something else. computers don't bore me much usually, but this is seriously lame.

[HOUR NUMER 2]: status (barely surviving)
i can't wait to get home. & i don't have a choice but to blog, because the school has disabled MSN and rendered all of us all seriously bored out of our brains. i reckon if this continues, we'd be reduced to nothing but a couple of oddly demented kids. HELL some classmates are even playing neopets just to pass time. could it get any worse?

check out this song by 'The Calling', it's pretty good, worth a peek. you might've heard of them, they're probably known well for the song 'Wherever you will go', ring any bells?

you left me with goodbye and open arms
a cut so deep i don't deserve
you were always invincible in my eyes
the only thing against us now is time

i lie down and blind myself with laughter
a quick fix of hope is what i'm needing
& how i wish that i could turn back the years
but i know i just don't have the power

i'd jump at the chance
we'd drink and we'd dance
& i'd listen close to your every word
as if it's your last, well i know it's your last
'coz today you're gone

like sand on my feet
the smell of sweet perfume
you stick to me forever
i wish you didn't go
i wish you didn't go away
to touch you again
with life in your hands
it couldn't be any harder

could it be any harder to say goodbye, without you
could it be any harder to watch you go;
face what's true
if i only had one more day

i apologize for being bored out of my pants but you can't blame me for this post without any absolute meaning, i'm just trying to find a way to entertain myself, any means neccessary, any way i can.

[HOUR NUMBER 3] status (what status?)
even blogging cannot sustain me now, i hate this lesson. hallelujah. i can't wait for training tomorrow. s'long, and goodnight. 4 more hours to go.

the secret's in the telling - dashboard confessional

2006-10-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

now playing| the secret's in the telling
artist| dashboard confessional
mood| sleepy

"& we are compelled to do what we have been forbidden"
----------

so i won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
our act of defiance
we keep this secret in our blood
no paper or letters
we pass just close enough to touch
we love in secret names
we hide within our veins

the things that keep us bound to one another

another day, another week, another pile of work, another tired night, same 'ol me. so what sets this post apart from any other day-to-day entry? nothing. because i've nothing much to say, but i've been told to blog because if i stopped, i probably would close the site down. it's a snowball thing, weeks to months, to years to decades. you get my point, don't you? so in hopes of not having my faithful friend dying, i'll try my best to put from pen to paper (or fingers to screen) something that's worth a read.

i'm a proud owner of 'Basic Theory Of Driving; 6th Edition', okay wait make that co-owner with Jing ting. did i mentioned i signed up for my Basic Theory Test already, forgive me if i haven't, my short term memory isn't what it used to be now that i'm 18! and legal to drive. haha. i can't wait til i get to the practicals. gripping tight on the steer, clutch, allowing the scent of the car's air conditioning to brush through my hair, seeing things zooming pass my view - faster than on foot of course. the satisfaction wouldn't last i know, but still, cheap thrills are still thrills, no? =]

i've been reading Jeffery Archer's twelve red herrings, a book with a compilations of short stories, and i must say i'm more than impressed with this amazing author. his stories always comes with a twist, whether big or small - it still places him on top of all the other storybooks i've ever came across my life. definately worth a read.

i'm really sorry but i don't know what else to put in. how about, i love my team =] they've been giving me, whether directly or indirectly, a sufficiently great amount of motivation to train hard and be good. i know i'm not one of the best canoe-iest around, but no one succeeds by mopping around do they? i'll strife to see and hope to be one, one day. soon =]

goodnight texas - holland

2006-10-20T22:05:00.001+08:00

now playing| goodnight texas
artist| holland
mood| drained

"find another course, 'cause late night roads all look the same"
----------

is there a cure among us,
from this processed sanity?
i weaken with each voice that sings.
now in this world of purchase,
I'm going to buy back memories,
to awaken some old qualities.

have i got a long way to run?

it's been about a week, with a few more days thrown in. i chose today (or night) to blog on delibrate. i started school on monday, & i suppose i'll have a wider scope of things i can talk about here.

so basically school's been rather unkind to me, because it's only been a week and i'm feeling all drained. also, it's the first damn week, which means it wasn't really all study and work, only introductions. i can't imagine what it would do to me when weeks go by, and things in general begin to pick up speed and gain momemtum. i reckon it'll crush me, ultimately - especially since i don't just have school to worry about. i've got Canoe trainings. but i won't complain about that because i decided this course, this path myself and i'm sticking to trainings because it's really all that keeps my adrenaline pumping in school.

i have to admit i wasn't, and still am not very happy with my grades in Semester 1, so i hope my attempts to pay more attention in class, and study smarter and harder this semester would generate a better result at the end of it all - but we all know it isn't always the case huh?

i've been lunching with my Canoe mates alot since school started, probably coz i hung out with them almost my whole holidays and it'd be a little weird if i don't see them. sounds a little gay i know, but hey? i'm not asking you to judge, just read. i used to think weekdays rowing at kallang would be really tiring, but seeing how i'm still well and alive now - i don't see why i won't be rowing more. it actually feels pretty good. oh hell yeah.

i finally met my best friend, Waiaung, one of the days during holiday. but it was like, my last day before school started. but it was still good. we wandered around town like old times, where we would just hang out in school uniforms and act all crazy. only now we've matured into the young adults we are now, but still - nostalgia kicks in every now and then and my mind sails back to yester-years. it was good. =]

part of me wants school to gain wings and speed me on it's merry way to self destruction - okay i dramatized. but i wanna prove to myself that i AM able to cope with my studies well, well enough to get good grades that'll ultimately land me up in a University. but another part of me, or should i say the darker side silently wishes that school'll collapse, because sometimes i would really love to drop off the face of the earth and adopt a 'couldn't care less' attitude to everything, anything. sometimes all i need is peace, and some serenity. and in this fast paced society, where politics are played even in classrooms, how are we truly able to hold our heads on our shoulder firmly and act rationally to everything? am i making any sense?

i think i should start working soon, because i don't want to be a bigger burden to my mom.

guerra all interno - daphne loves derby

2006-10-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

now playing| guerra all interno
artist| daphne loves derby
mood| bummer

"& we've tried so hard to make believe a better day"
----------

i fell ill, at the most horrible time. God must hate me.

demolition lover - my chemical romance

2006-10-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

now playing| demolition lover
artist| my chemical romance
mood| sick

"i'd end my days with you, in a hail of bullets"
----------

i'm trying,
to show you just how much you mean to me
as snow falls on desert skies
until the end of everything

as days fade, and nights grow
& we grow cold
but this time, we'll show them
we'll show them all how much we mean

i will drive on to the end with you

i haven't been touching this site for a long time, only because i haven't been free enough to blog. but then again, what's there to blog about. life's mundane & i doubt everyone of our lives really differs that much. i'm not sure if anybody really does read my blog, but i'm glad a few handful does. take for example, when i don't sound very happy with the usage of my words - they'd know and they'd come to me and help me through it. i've came to a conclusion, blog's aren't meant for us to share our everyday lives - they're meant for us to share our joys & bitterness with friends that really do care.

the water sports camp has came and gone & i'm feeling the pinch already. i miss the nights where we'd hangout & complain about the haze, knowing well that it wouldn't help much though. i miss Dragon Boating, & the amount of fun we had as a team, as groups, as juniors and seniors. i never will regret my decision, in joining Canoeing, it's not about the name or fame, it's about the friendship forged and made.

upon my return home, i realised my brother had spoilt my laptop. apparently his friends came over and decided his desktop wasn't enough to fulfil their gaming desires, so they took my laptop without my permission, downloaded MAPLE STORY and played to thei hearts content - and it ultimately caused the demise of my laptop screen. now the colors are jacked, and i can't watch any videos anymore.

my anger was beyond recognition, but i kept my cool and didn't do anything - only because i know my mom wouldn't be very happy either if i do quarrel with my brother. BUT then again, i doubt he'd reply me, he doesn't talk much. he didn't apologise. i'll get over it soon, let me whine for awhile.

i just got home from training, & i don't think i have anymore energy to pen anything else down. my arms are falling apart, my head is throbbing from the feverish headache, and i just wanna eat a whole turkey.

second place victory - this day and age

2006-10-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

now playing| second place victory
artist| this day and age
mood| well

"& learn the sound by following all that's complete"
----------

i'm quite irritated with the over rating of Snow Patrol. =\

summer stars - taking back sunday

2006-09-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

now playing| summer stars
artist| taking back sunday
mood| wishful

"we would hide from passing cars & we'd have the summer stars"
----------

the cold wind that blows
all the things I used to know,
how could it fade so fast?
never thought you'd be part of my past

would I trade it all again to get you out of my head?

it's been way too long, whether physically or chronologically. a distance this far, a time this long has rendered my heart pumping with anticipation for the coming back of supernova. i don't think i've ever quite felt this way before, it's a little too much for an Eighteen year old - so much so that i've stayed up til 4am in the morning just to type til here. even though i'm dead tired, & i no longer am able to think sanely anymore.

reason? more than weariness, i've lost my cupcakes. what?

i've been training so much these few days that my arms and legs feels like they might turn black and fall off anytime due to the extreme pressure exerted. but it was good, because of the goals we set a few weeks back - & i'm beginning to feel the adrenaline, the desire to achieve it more. it's the only thing that's fueling me now, other than my team mates, of course.

i have nothing much to say today, because all my inspiration seems so far away, across seas, further than the usual East Coast.

& not a million fights could make me hate you, it's true. it's in your eyes that i find peace.

rooftops and invitations - dashboard confessional

2006-09-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

now playing| rooftops and invitations
artist| dashboard confessional
mood| longs well

"& underneath where the welcome touch of skin and skin will meet"
----------

tell me i'm wrong to say;
i can't expect you to spend forever with me
i live for that single moment!

so take take, everything, leave me scrambling
reaching for something
that wasn't there in the first place

my sudden urge for August In Bethany has come and not gone. every single time i hear it, i break into a trance and remain there for an approximate 92103821129381minutes. everytime. it's not so much of the music, it's not so much of the tune, or even the lyrics, it's the voice. trust me, close your eyes and imagine the guy singing it to you, you'd weep like a fucking baby if you were in a situation that has any of, even the slightest, resemblance to what he's singing about. his desperation comes off so real, so tangible, so close, so much so that the words literally brushes through my face.

"DON'T GO, YOUR EYES IT SEES THROUGH MY SOUL"

sure it might not mean anything when you read it, but how many of your soulmates actually does sees through you soul? it's something we don't question ourselves everyday. "i love you" really has been over-used, over-rated, & rendered meaningless after awhile.

i don't know how a successful, perfect, & fully functional & operational relationship should work, or how i should go about doing it. it's not supposed to be this hard, this early. sometimes your words penetrates so hard that i bleed. I'M NOT EMO, i'm just trying to let go.

& sometimes all i wanna do is to dig myself a little hole, inside your precious heart, watch the world go by with you by my side all the time. but as tempting as that sounds, i'm not peterpan and you are not tinkerbell - welcome to the real world.

i'm sorry for making mistakes, but please try to understand how i feel, and sometimes all i need is a little pampering. is that really so hard? why can't i feel the least bit sad, you have to at least allow me to allow myself sometime to let everything sink in and settle, i can't just up and go, it's not me. i don't hide, but if i'm forced to, it's a fight or flight thing. i'm so sorry. i don't know if i can make it, & i don't know if i'm that strong.

& what about our plans for forever? can we not put it on haitus, because i'd give the world to continue our story, until the day my body meets dusts.

i'll be alright when my hands get warm.

come winter - daphne loves derby

2006-09-21T05:47:00.000+08:00

now playing| come winter
artist| daphne loves derby
mood| crappy

"breathe in all of the ashes of my mistakes"
----------

i'll dream of the past and wish that i was there
i'm burning the letters of days gone by
but I'm scared that my heart will regret all the things that I've done

Breathe in all of the ashes of my mistakes
so no one will notice you're falling too short of your breath
I've wasted more time dreaming than living
I've wasted more time dreaming.
I'll be there, I'll be there

So cherish these days, enjoy every breath like it will be
the last of your life
Never look back, and never look back
Because you won't forget why you cried.

i have every intention to blog so early in the morning, & i'm not crazy either. it's 5 in the morning and we had a hard time waking MHY up. i'm as hungry as a bull on a 500years diet, and all i can consume now is a gigantic, big sucking hole of nothingness. no i will not spare you the dramatics, & yes i can be pretty drama sometimes, what? can't i?

& if you think that's bad, you should only be here.

my girlfriend's away for 3days & we haven't been talking much. it's almost killed me, just as well. i miss Eugenia like crazy, & i'm this close to attempting suicide. NAH of course not, but i might as well. i'm pathetic i know, but it feels like i can't live a day/or two without her. yes i can get pretty emo sometimes too.

let's see, what have we learnt today. derek can be pretty drama, and emo, and he's like a bull on a strict, sucking-hole diet. now i shall cease to blog anymore because i'm not used to damien's keyboard and i'm getting pretty annoyed with always punching in the wrong alphabet keys.

FAREWELL, AND HELLO EUGENIA, PLEASE COME BACK SOON. =[

killing me - cauterize

2006-09-17T09:06:00.000+08:00

now playing| killing me
artist| cauterize
mood| alot

"& all the little things you didn't do"
----------

again;
i found our initials in the pavement
please, don't let this be a dream gone wrong

forgive the morning spells, tired bones, aching hands. it's all been said and done and over, if we don't have to we're not going to, make the change it's worth the try - what's broken can be fixed tonight.

so i will save this last breath
for words that i won't say
& i don't feel like dying
but you're killing me

my eyes burn - matchbook romance

2006-09-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

now playing| my eyes burn
artist| matchbook romance
mood| -

"those words; as if they meant anything anyway"
-----------

I FOUND OUR INITIALS IN THE PAVEMENT;
just another dream gone wrong

i don't know why i'm here, nor what i can pen down at this very moment. all i know is that i'm bored out of my socks, & if i don't find a way to release these tension, i might attempt suicide. thank God for blogs, thank God for free speech, thank God for songs that bring me away from reality - even if it's just for a few minutes.

spending a few minutes drowning in music usually helps me clear my mind, and think a little more sane.

i admit i do sometimes get a little emotional when my ear meets tunes that draws back memories that weren't all that happy, & the funny thing is - i like that feeling. yes, it's my guilty pleasure. i guess i'm usually, generally a cold person when it comes to coming to terms with my own past, & honestly i doubt i could've gotten over quite alot of my pasts without some musical aids. i face them better with sane lyrics replaying and resounding.

why am i telling you this? it's because i don't have anything else to say & like i said, i was bored.

earlier this morning, during trainig, i was paddling around a bridge bend. the walls on the bridge looked horrific, rough, and tainted with shell-like objects (or creatures? ew) that hinted sharpness and "keep away" was written all over them. but just as i was turning, a group of dragon boaters went pass me, like only a few inches away, and the current pushed me towards the wall. i swear, if i hadn't reached my hand out in time, i'd probably be on the first plane tomorrow morning to Korea for a decent plastic surgery now. honestly, a huge dragon boat versus a little, minute canoe, i'm sure any retards would know who would emerge victorious.

while my hand reached out to the wall to prevent my face from meeting it's doom, i had completely forgotten about two things. 1) my palm, like my face, was made of flesh too. & 2) my boat was still moving. so my palm slided across the wall and yes, resulting in a gigantic cut. needless to say, i had difficulty paddling back to the shore.

slice slice. spill spill. joy joy.

lunch wasn't very enjoyable, but the company was, is, and will be for the rest of my life.

let that be enough - switchfoot + jars of clay

2006-09-15T15:16:00.000+08:00

now playing| let that be enough
artist| switchfoot + JOC
mood| poo

"let me know that you love me, let that be enough"
----------

wish i had what i needed
to be on my own
'cause i feel so defeated
& i'm feeling alone

all i see
it could never make me happy
& all my sandcastles spend their time collapsing

i'm a plane in the sunset
with nowhere to land

i got my results, it's not as bad as i thought it would be, but it's not a result anyone would be happy with. all i am relieved about is not having to retake any modules/supplementary paper.

this week flew by all so fast, i didn't even have the time to TAKE the time to let all the magic sink in, all i wanted to do was keep you by my side.

school holidays seems so long before it started, and now that i'm right smack in the middle of the vacation, it doesn't seem as long anymore. nothing i can do about it, no? aha.

i know jealousy can be a be really ugly, ugly thing. but i didn't know it could stoop to such a low level, to fear what you fear so much until you try to take control. nevertheless, fearing what you don't understand shouldn't be the fuel of your solution - i understand where you're coming from, but i don't understand your actions. you baffle me, y'know?

& if you attempt again to spoil what was originally wonderful, i will hunt you down.

AND on a happier note, Eugenia said yes. if you don't understand what yes means, you could either scroll down two entries before, or you could just ignore this line. i couldn't be happier =] although i am gonna miss you the next two weeks.

RANDOM

2006-09-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

now playing| lullaby
artist| pedro the lion
mood| =]

"'coz i'm always here when you're tired of running, i'm all you need"
----------

it's transcendent, it's overwhelming, it's supernova

suspension - mae

2006-09-11T13:35:00.000+08:00

now playing suspension
artist mae
mood hungry

"we are gaining speed; & i can barely breathe"
----------

CAUGHT IN SUSPENSION

now, i'm wanting this for sure;
& i'll beg for nothing more
i'll plan all day and drive all night
you'll love what's in store

it's a monday afternoon, & i basically have nothing else to do except sit and think about us, & with each lost moments come to bare, i can't help but smile sheepishly to myself, only to realise minutes later how stupid i must've looked.

this post has no real intentions, & i apologize for always sounding exceptionally emo (i promise you i'm no paul twohill, i don't swing my head sideways) in all my post - they're all unintentional, i swear.

colors can be pretty mystifying, no?

duck rice for breakfast isn't really healthy, but that doesn't mean it's still not good - wait, it's more great than good. i'd trade my truckload filled abalone for a bucketfull of duck skin, fats and all. yummy, just like tacos in my spaghettis. i don't know what i've been doing this whole holiday, it seems my life is revolving only around trainings and Eugenia. well, my only complain is that i don't ever seem to have enough of my delicious Supernova. seriously, we should have 48hours a day, that way we'd all be able to finish up work, have ample play time, exercise and sleep in a little every morning.

oh boy, movie marathon's gonna suck without popcorns and a little bit of brocolli. those invited's, please bring your sleeping bags because i'm not about to let you sleep on my tummy should there be lack of comfortable cushions. BALLS TO YOU.

& in the (very) likely event of me getting hungry every one hour, please bring more money so we can have multiple suppers at the Prata house.

MARRY ME, EUGENIA

say yes? =]

(ps. yes i thought ending with a proposal was totally sweet, heh Y)

chasing cars - snow patrol

2006-09-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

now playing| chasing cars
artist| snow patrol
mood| assured

"those three words are said too much; they're not enough"
----------

we'll do it all; everything,
on our own
we don't need anything or anyone

let's waste time; chasing cars
around our heads
i need your grace;
to remind me, to find my own

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie here with me and just forget the world?
forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's bursting into life

all that i am
all that i ever was
is here in your perfect eyes;
they're all i can see.
i don't know where;
confused about how as well
i just know that these things will never change for us at all

& those three words, are said too much
they're not enough

i don't quite need to say more, i love you? it's not enough. how about,

"you complete me." =] thank you, Supernova.

SHOOT

2006-09-09T00:33:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO FUCKING SHOOT SOMETHING NOW

tiger lily - matchbook romance

2006-09-07T14:46:00.000+08:00

now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| beaten

"& accept 'someday, somehow', as the words that i'll hang from"
----------

WITH YOUR HANDS IN MINE,
as strangers walked by
i'd look you in the eye,
& tell you just how i feel

you guys should watch this movie, it's very provocative, & very real.

i hate being alone, sometimes silence can resound a whole lot louder than the crack of a million thunders. i don't know about you, but i usually get unusually heightened paranoia when i'm alone, my heart beats deepers, my mind travels further, and i'd usually end up lying on my bed wishing i would fall asleep instead - at least i'd stop wondering, and wandering.

training the past two weeks everyday has left me both physically and mentally drained, and the wound on my butt (near the tail bone) isn't helping me much either. i've been waking up every morning, unable to sit up at all initially.

just an hour ago when i got home, i spat a mouthful of phlegm out and it had a little blood in it - i hope it doesn't mean anything. =

i haven't been meeting up with my Poly classmates this whole holiday, i've a feeling i wouldn't see them until the reopening of school. balls. i haven't seen much of my Secondary school friends either, & last saturday was just screwed.

after leaving Millennia, i realised i haven't touched tennis in an ultra long time, and i think it's time to pick up my racket and start whacking a few yellow bouncy balls again. TENNIS, ANYONE? I want the next week to come fast, and pass slow. The camp's all that i'm looking forward to.

i'm 18, and i haven't stepped into a club before, believe it or not. =] i'm pretty proud of it, being a virgin clubber - on the other hand i don't wanna come across as a nerd-bag - so if anyone of you are heading out to a club anytime soon, call me along. i wanna flash my IC with pride and walk into a club without breaking any rules.

i've been having my quiet time/devotions every night since a few days ago, & i won't say that i'm an excellent christian because that would be lying through my teeth. but at least i'm trying, not to be a good christian - but a proud christian. what do i mean? let me give you an example: if being Christian were to be a crime, i'd want there to be enough evidence to convict me.

yesterday night, i've came to realise how complex, & how strange God is. like, if he really does exist, why are there still suffering? is free will really all that important? but i also came to realise that what he does is his business, what he does THROUGH me is what i should really be thinking about.

& i guess the only reason why we get to live in heaven for eternity, is because it really takes eternity to know God.

bruised - jacks mannequin

2006-09-02T20:11:00.000+08:00

now playing| bruised
artist| jacks mannequin
mood| hopeful

"& sometimes perfection can be perfet, perfect hell"
----------

[edit]please try not to dish out such a last minute information next time, because today you've upped the annoyance quotion a little. thanks[/edit]

so many things has recently just careered pass my view, and lately it seems like everything's perfect - & i've my life up on bet that it'll stay this way. THEE CHALET has come and gone, and i'm still feeling a tint of disappointment, not over the stay of course; but of the many times in class when i wished for time to pick up speed but never happened, & how it magically gain wings and all the fun has to cease when the 3days ended. cruel, really, how time works. no?

this whole week was filled with tiring, but rewarding trainings - paddling, gymming, and goal settings.

i watched the Canoe-ing Olympic Race Videos, and it wasn't only inspiring and motivating, it was rather telling. it was really educational, of course with the combined help of Supernova. i really do want to excel, and do well in canoe-ing, & though it might seem a little far-fetched to me (and everyone reading) now, a still, small voice in my head tells me i can do it. some people call this wishful thinking.

i'd prefer to call it sanity.

"if you work hard towards your goal, there isn't anything you cannot achieve"
- Superman

there you go. LETS TRAIN HARD DANIEL!

on a not-so-happier note. let's take a minute to really appreciate the life that we've taken for granted so many times, & to understand how fragile and unpredictable it is - let's take a look at suiciders.

i've had came across two incidents in just half a year, where two people i know, whether directly or indirectly, had committed their lifes to the cold and concrete pavements.

one of them being one of the teacher in my Secondary School. she's never taught me, but i've spoken to her before. when she came up to me and had me Emcee for a few concerts, and when we were at padang field during SRC Softball Tournament.

just a few months back, i recieved news that she had plunged to her demise from her apartment.

a few hours ago, my cousin told me that one of his friend had met the same fate, and i can't help but wonder what was going through their minds in the split second before they decided to end it all. did they really think that death would be the solution to the very complicated equations in life? surely they've heard so many times, over and over again whether it be on serial TV shows, or just plain conversations with friends, that Suicide would be the silliest thing to do. As cliche as it might sound, death doesn't solve problems, it adds on.

so assuming that they've heard it all, why would the thought even crossed their minds?

sometimes i guess life just decides to throw you a curve ball, we fall one too many times, and when someone can't pick themselves up, they don't really want to.

i'm glad i've friends around me that i've learnt to depend on. & i have Eugenia, and i know that at the end of the day, i can run to her knowing she'll be there.

DEATH CAN GET ME REAL EMO HUH?

i saw a molestor(sp?) got arrested today at Bishan Junction Eight. God bless his soul.

CAMP in a week's time, i can hardly wait. YIPPEE.

philidelphia - a hero from a thousand paces

2006-08-31T10:45:00.000+08:00

now playing philidelphia
artist a hero from a thousand paces
mood nostalgic

"i've been drawn in color; i've been drawn to you like a long time lover"
----------

HATCHING OF NYPKAYAKING SITE. click above.

several way to die trying - dashboard confessional

2006-08-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

now playing| several ways
artist| dashboard c.
mood| flipped

"take notice, take interest, TAKE ME WITH YOU"
-----------

LIGHT UP LIGHT UP, AS IF I HAVE A CHOICE

& since Dashboard has Rapid Hope Loss, why can't i?

=] clowns are irritating, just like sand in vaginas.

but i do love you - leanne rimes

2006-08-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

now playing| but i do love you
artist| leanne rimes
mood| tired

"the way you lay your head up on my shoulder when you sleep"
----------

i realised if you don't blog for some time, you tend to not want to blog for a long time. am i making any sense? i know, sometimes i question myself also, like why am i always so insightful, making statements & theories that normal people find hard to comprehend.

balls.

so i haven't been updating because of the whole examination period thing. the stress, the studying, the anticipation - both for it to start and for it to end. and now that it's finally over, it's quite hard to believe =D but nonetheless, i'm a very happy boy. so much so that i wouldn't mind spending my whole fortune in Candy Empire at the Millennia Walk - pah of course i'm kidding, you dimwit. i still wanna get married, and get a car, and i'm not about to live just on Candies and Chocolate - no one should. no matter how happy you are, unless you want to be a clown, in which case you should run far away from me because i hate clowns. i would clobber any with my softball bat. (if i dared to walk up to him, anyway)

enough with random shit. i have been complaining about being fair to Eugenia for a damn long time, and well - be careful what you bitch for. Training on friday and today(saturday) has made me red and black all over, and i ran out of aloe vera gel so it's gonna hurt.

did i mentioned i have horny chick canoe mates? yeah well. apparently they dashed into the boys toilet while we were in it, and deliberately snapped pictures of us showering. scandalous? i'll leave you to decide for yourself.

great.

man. this commenced holiday's going to rock, not just because i don't have to study. but because i have tons of things in my ITENARY. AHAHAHA. right, Eugenia? Chalets, Camps, Water Sports Camp, Kayak Outing, Movie Marathon, Stay overs, oh boy. but above all, i'd still give up anything, and everything just to spend some quality time with my supernova.

i'm joining the Singapore Standard Chartered Run in December this year, 42km. So i'm deciding to go to church now, everyday, and pray diligently. because if i don't, i have a very strong feeling i will not survive this ordeal.

honestly, everything sounds alot more easier than it looks. oh mega-bummer.

tiger lily - matchbook romance

2006-08-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

now playing| tiger lily
artist| matchbook romance
mood| nostalgic

"i'll be going through withdrawl of you from this night we spent"
----------

i need a break. seriously. i need a hiatus from studying. it's way too much information for an 18year old, and i'm not coping.

okay fine, i dramatized alot.

it wasn't all that bad, my first two papers. but i'm sure the last two would be nowhere near alright, because both statistics and accounts deals with numbers, and derek and numbers just doesn't mix well. especially accounts. i love money, just like everybody else - i just hate dealing with them.

i need the exams to be over as soon as possible, because i need a decent night sleep. for the past few days, i have been up studying til ungodly hours, stashing notes, jamming words, oh Christ, the horror.

holidays also, of course, marks freedom. two whole-fucking-months of note-less, school-less, stress-less, &, unfortunately, penni-less days. i've decided to save up, and not spend so much. afterall, we don't really need money to have fun, do we? all we need is a good company, without which, life would be nothing but a senseless ride.

OKAY WHO AM I KIDDING? without money we can never have good food, and life without food is no life at all, as i've always said.

well until i met Eugenia, of course =]

have you guys noticed the weirdly shaped patterns at the extreme top of my blog? (for ie. users, for Mozilla it'll probably show 'Dyad') they're actually links, and i only have two up at the current moment. the first link's for song-features, which i will update every month. the very last link's a blog that me, shane and natasha used to maintain. feel free to drop me a mail (click) if you wanna be linked up there. =D

you ask me why i'm doing this? well. that's a mighty fine question.

i guess life's just pretty boring at this precise moment because Euge's not around, and i have to study and cyberspace brings me away from the cruel, cruel, reality.

=D THINGS WILL BE OKAY

anthem of our dying day - story of the year

2006-08-14T00:26:00.000+08:00

now playing| anthem of our dying day
artist| story of the year
mood| downer

"i'd scream this song right in your face if you were here"
----------

from up here, the city lights burn; like a thousand miles of fire. have you ever wanted to live so far up, everything else below looks miniature to you? =] welcome to my life, if i ever get upset, or am in the worse of moods, i turn towards the city lights, and wish i was a ghost to the world. while time slowly slips pass me, and everything else buzzes on, somewhere up in these clouds i'd feel safe and protected. OR i could just call Euge, i'd prefer the latter. <3

want another view? (click)

relay duathlon competition has passed. we did well, certainly did. =] i'm proud of my partner, Julyn Tan Qinqin. Although i must say i feel bad, like losing-my-whole-fortune bad, for dishing out the wrong information to Constance and Jaclyn. =\ CONSTANCE PLEASE DON'T THROW ME AWAY, AM I STILL YOUR BEST FRIEND!? i'll buy you thousands of bubbletea.

on a happier note, Jon and Anju came in 3rd for our event. Me and Julyn, unfortunately, came in at the 7th placing among the many. But i thought we did pretty well, besides i'm a junior - i've got time to train, and time to spare =] Jingting and Joan came in 2nd for Under 19s Women, & the got some blow-up boat. not exactly handy, but still worth quite abit.

this huge manifestation of hotstuffs belongs to Team Kayak of NYP, and many thanks to them for making the team fun, and training enjoyable. well, most of the time anyway.

want a clearer view? i'm sure you do, i suggest you click here now. =D(click)

& these guys, are my buddies, all time.

enough about RD, it's over and done with. exams and holidays are nearing, and i can't wait. i had a great day today, and i never had been happier, i reckon. i'm for real. though tonight i recieved informations that was quite a downer, but i'm sure everything'll be fine, Euge. =] haven't i promised? my smiles belong to you, and everything else i own along with it. my heart, my body, my all.

i'm uploading more pictures on friendster, so if you love me and you wanna see more of me, you can visit =D

sorry again, constance and jacklyn. =\ & jolene, try not to get stuck in City Hall too much, because it's bad for your health, especially for a small mgs girl like you. EHEHEHE.

EPIC BATTLE OF ALL TIMES! SUPERNOVA VS. SUPERMAN. get your tickets now!

i tried hypnotising myself with my fingers, but i failed to succeed. boogey.

come home running - chris tomlin

2006-08-11T03:04:00.000+08:00

now playing come home running
artist chris tomlin
mood sleepy

"come home running; just as you are"
----------

heart of mine, come back home,
you've been too long;
out on your own
& he's been there all along
watching for you coming home

come home running, his arms are opened wide
his name is Jesus - he understands
he is the answer
you are looking for
so come home running, just as you are

other than i love my girlfriend, i really haven't got anything else to say.

except maybe exams are coming and i think they should burn forevermore. i'm not sleeping because i don't want tomorrow to come so soon, because it spells disaster for me. the drawing near of examinations. spank my ass and call me Charlie.

Jov, please stop telling everyone i think i'm big, strong and handsome, albeit being true. but i don't wanna come off as a boy with ego the size of the solar system. be a good cousin now, or i'll box your face.

here in my room - incubus

2006-08-09T16:28:00.000+08:00

now playing| here in my room
artist| incubus
mood| bored

"i came here expecting next to nothing, thank you for being that person"
----------

i can think of a few reasons as to why i love this layout, firstly it's the hot, almost-headless girl. second, because i love the lyrics that's embedded into this layout.

philidelphia, by a hero from a thousand paces. but please don't go now and download it, because it just so happens that this song means alot to me, and who i have with me now. =]

it's highly unusual that i'm blogging only a few days after i just blogged, which explains the lack of substance in this post. but who the hell cares? do you care? i know you don't.

the earth is shaking
the mountain's shouting;
it's all for you

the waves are crashing
the sun is raging;
again it's all for you

the universe;
spinning & singing - it's all for you
your childrens dancing, dancing, dancing
ALL FOR YOU

the cross before me, the world behind

not to us - chris tomlin

2006-08-07T09:24:00.000+08:00

now playing not to us
artist chris tomlin
mood blessed

"the cross before me; the world behind"
----------

festival of praise 2006 was pretty good, considering the fact that i haven't stepped into church for a long time. in the midst of all the praise and worship, i was gently reminded that God was there with us.

"when 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, i am there with them"

there was more than hundreds of willing hearts, and it felt good to be back in his presence, even if it's just for one night. & even if i wasn't quite sure about a lot of things in church anymore, but to be so close to him again, was good. that, i'm sure. Euge was there, beside me - having her heart touched also. evidentially. it's her hand that i'm going to hold on to, when i graduate from NYP, when i get out of army, when i enter University - also, when i return to church, and worship like i never had before - there she will be, right beside me.

although the day of Festival Of Praise was a little hectic, & i was halfbrain-dead from training and rushing, not to mention leaving my keys in Euge's bag. so i wasted 6bucks on cab fare, because i had to have her rush down and rescue me from being drenched in my own sweat and weariness while being locked out of my own house. but all was well. all IS well. =]

i don't think life has been the same since Monday. after realising so many things, the revelation was pretty inspiring.

friends like Constance are hard to come by, always managing to draw up a smile on my face with her words. 2 years had gone by, and i i used to think a big chunk of my life had be spent without her would've led this friendship to its extinction. it hasn't. i'm sorry for everything that i've put you through, those deceptions, though you know me well enough to see through it - i was just trying to find the right words and right time to put it across to you. =] you'll be the flower girl at my wedding, because you've always stood up for me - how should my wedding be any different?

also, Jolene who also, always manages to cheer me up when i'm not in the right mood. her comments are quirky, and different, and sincere. =] i'm beginning to realise the people who're important in my life, and as Euge said, "you've got a lot of good friends around you". it was a challenge, to begin to start treasuring them.

no more pussy-footing around.

exams are around the corner, & i should better start reflecting on my studies, 'lest i want to crash into failure at the bend. it felt good, to have started studying. to finally know stuff. or maybe it's just because you were beside me, and i felt more encouraged, motivated, and relaxed.

Godspeed. school in 2 hours time, and i'm having breakfast. hope i don't poop in my pants while giving my presentation.

we are the reason - avalon

2006-08-01T00:18:00.000+08:00

song we are the reason
artist avalon
mood -

"to the world that was lost he gave all he could give"
----------

i've lost so much of myself along the way. it's high time i gave it all back. i don't deny i have in more ways than one gave up on you, Jesus. & now i know better, i gave up on myself. many times i lay down and wonder how much life had strayed, from a path i once knew so well about. ever since i lost faith in the people from church, i found it hard to step amongst people who proclaimed their love for you, yet guilty-ly harbours hypocrisy. i reckon that was stupid, and it took me so long to finally comprehen the very simple fact that ceasing from church only because of friends is hypocrisy, myself - we worship God. not friends. i fear i sound wishful, but if i could, i would turn back time and change that very event. because even though having the wonderful relationship i have now, i still do miss the one i had with the man above.

about the one i have now, we have came so far. & each step i took deepens the fear i had about having it end like the previous time. overcompensating, overstating and overdoing not only results in the outburst of paranoia, but also builds up the very thing i want not to be there, a barrier. of all my relationships, i've always wished i would cross the threshold of obsession, the threshold of a very surface partnership. but apparently they didn't because none of them worked out. it's probably due to these pasts that made my heart long to give more, in hopes of getting where i want - how wrong can i get?

because today, i was delivered from these high-school-crushes relationship. the epiphany of having the perfect relationship, is actually quite simple. i don't want to live in mere fear of how it would end, or how i should keep it going on anymore. why should we focus so much on the bad, when there is so much good in my life right now. i know better now, because we've not only cleared up so much shit - i think i've finally gotten pass the threshold. i don't deny still being as numb as a 5minutes soaked-in-ice feet, but i also won't deny that i can't live my life on nails anymore. it touches me how you tried so hard to find the words to convey everything, breaking it to me gently - and rationally. & i'm glad you understood from my point of view also. it really is that simple. i'm looking forward now, because looking back is so passe. we have alot more to learn, and i promise i'll be a good student.

school has been tough on be today, because i've grown to realise how much it differs from secondary school life. how unpredictable the people are - and i'd give up anything for God's discerning voice to guide my every path. but it's okay, because i've got my own discerning voice from you, euge. it's clear, and audible, and sane.

daniel complains i don't blog about him because i always blog about Euge. you've been nothing but more than an amazing motivation and a great friend in and outside of Kayaking. good luck with friendster message? =]

dear God, tomorrow i swear i won't act this way.
but i know that seems like what i always say.
but it doesn't really matter to me,
because i know i'm understoof.
i honestly pray, that i would go back to you
in more than church-going
and more than a few cheap thrills,
take me, break me, and mold me again into the person you've always wanted me to be.
and again, take my dyad.
bless it, and multipy it fruitfully.
i love you.
in Jesus's name i pray,

amen

the end of everything i love - daphne loves derby

2006-07-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

now playing the end of everything i love
artist daphne loves derby
mood FUCKED

& at the coast where i drown all my fears
----------

how do we look on the bright side of life, when clouds of diasspointment shrouds the good, blinding me from being able to even see what is there, & the rain it falls harder now, and i need you here tonight like the ocean needs the waves. this persistent killjoys has bore one too many holes, and i swear the only welcome touch is when i meet my dreams and leave this all behind. i'm too tired to put on a front, please don't ask me to - although i'd give up my frowns for a smile if it comforts your heart. it's hard.

come one, get up
why're you scared?
you'll never change what's been and gone

'cause all of the stars are fading away,
just try not to worry
you'll seem them someday;
take what you need & be on your way
& stop crying your heart out

'cause all of us stars are fading away,
just try not to worry
you'll see us someday

and afterall, you're still my wonderwall, euge

stars - switchfoot

2006-07-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

now playing stars
artist switchfoot
mood overcast

"& i'm starting to wonder how chaos in life could pass as sane"
----------

it's been quite awhile, and still i have no idea what to pen. i think i would give up blogging daily, or even weekly and only blog when i want to. this could be quite random, and so i wouldn't be surprised if i lose readers, if i had any in the first place?

National Canoe-ing Championship just went by, and i must say i felt really motivated. i see all them canoeist paddle and row like no tomorrow. it looks so easy, so easy for them. and then i'm tricked into thinking that i can do it, but who knows? maybe i could. alright, so i will train hard and join the competition. for the name sake. for the body sake. and for Eugenia's sake.

Semester one is coming to an end, and yet i seem to still be dwelling in the playful mood. which, i might add with heart, not the least helpful for my academic progress. so i shall pick up my paddle and pen and strife to find a balance in the midst of all these helter skelter - all while holding on to your hand that's always so calm and inviting.

i hate last minute killjoys.

the saddest song - the ataris

2006-07-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

now playing the saddest song
artist the ataris
mood =

"i remember waiting here for you, to find nothing at all"
----------

your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night
this idle hour just won't pass;
i've never missed you this much
never thought i would
didn't think you'd feel so far away
your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway
autumn's ember red shadow's dance
i miss our midnight rides, on highway 18
18 is gone.

& so go pass the lights and all the excuses
you could've left sincerely yours
don't you think it's obvious that i want to say more?
'coz anything too daring to say to you
will be said in this letter and burned away,
so you'll never realize i'm here

albeit the many significant assurances. assurance i assure you i do comprehend - paranoia continues to reek with every swipe of this gentle night breeze.

BRING ME BACK TO OUR MIDNIGHT HIGHWAY AT THE GARDEN, PLEASE.

RELAY DUATHLON

2006-07-17T13:28:00.000+08:00

Ngee Ann Canoeing Club has organized and crafted an event, Relay Duathlon - as you can see from the above image. Hesitate not now, and take part in this exciting event that promises not only fun - but also prizes that'll take your breath away!

apart from Prizes, you are entitled to a free goody bag upon entering the competition, consisting of ONE FREE NEW URBAN MALE T-SHIRT and many more

don't wait, join! for more details about the event, click here to visit the website.

TAKE PLEASURE, HAVE FUN. and WELL DONE if you joined. See you there.

remember to breathe - dashboard confessional

2006-07-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

now playing remember to breathe
artist dashboard confessional
mood stone

"remember to breathe, & everything'll be alright"
----------

SHE FIXES HER LIPSTICK, SHE ALWAYS LOOKS PERFECT

& august in bethany just makes me wanna cry more. <3

rooftops and invitations - dashboard confessionals

2006-07-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

now playing rooftops and invitations
artist dashboard confessionals
mood lost

"& where the welcome touch of skin and skin will meet"
----------

about a week since i've updated this blog, & update now i shall. actually, i pretty much have no life. it's always school, training, more school, and more training. wait, i actually do have a life - but i gave it away. so all that i'm living for now is you. really, for many clueless readers (if there are any) who had been consistently reading my posts - and were desperately trying to figure out what i was talking about, those subtle hints - i'm no longer single. if you weren't clever enough to find that out by yourself, this is one big hint. if you still don't get what i mean, you should kill yourself and end your own misery because, well... just because.

i don't think i'm quite cut out to be a hardworking boy. because i think i'm not just lazy, but i'm also a procrastinator. and this combination not only proves fatal to my work, but it also does to my sleep. because staying up late to study can be really tiring, time consuming, and money-draining.

tiring because, isn't it obvious? you dimwit.

time consuming, because when the sun goes down, my eyes can hardly keep itself open, so i need extra time to absorb the amount of information i can as oppose to day time.

money consuming, because i need food when i study. no food, no study. it's that simple.

so by being un-hardworking, and lazy, and a procrastinator, i have to wonder how i got so far. perhaps, i'm just too clever =]

i miss you, Eugenia.

iris - goo goo dolls

2006-07-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

now playing iris
artist goo goo dolls
mood pissed

"when everything feels like the movies, & you bleed to know you're alive"
----------

this week was like a fucking roller coaster ride, and i have a few people to thank for that. like people who wants to bed with other people, and expresses them freely online. that wasn't nice at all, even though i know it's nothing much to get pissed over, it still irritates me - how fucking childish can a 18year old get. grow up and get a life, and pick on someone else, someone else i don't know. asshole. i don't think i'm a bad person, but when you get on my last few nerves, let's just say good isn't perfect, and it will mess up sometimes. so don't fuck with me. you've killed my joy tonight.

with that off my mind (sort of), we'll proceed on to a not-so-angsty post.

okay actually i have nothing much to update, only my room feels naked now without curtains. the mother took it down, and now they're joyfully churning in the wash, and i have to bear the tormenting sunrays glaring on my sleepy ass every morning. killjoy number 2. i need to start learning how to save more money, less now, more for the future so bright ahead of me, so clear, all so crystal-dyad clear. =] my stomach contributes to 3/4 of my monthly expenditure, i think i eat too much for my own good. it's honestly a waste of bucks, since everything that enters me, eventually exits out of my bottom at the end of the day. killjoy number 3.

i can hardly wait til next wednesday. =]

christmas lights - daphne loves derby

2006-07-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

now playing christmas lights
artist daphne loves derby
mood fucked

"the snow outside means nothing when you're gone"
----------

meet my very hot female friend, mona lisa jr. i'm sorry, she's taken.

school has started, and everything has turned mundane once again. all the early mornings, all the boring school lectures and tutorials, all the work, all the weariness, all the lack of time, all the GROUCH. i'm not going to pretend that the only thing i'm still going to school for is because i have to, & because i have friends - but 5 more weeks of school seems like a really really long span. it's only the weekends that i'm looking forward to, albeit having to wake up early on saturday for training - it beats waking up to study, like 1000000 times better. i feel like a sloth, although someone already has beaten me to that throne, of whom's name i shall keep a secret to protect the innocent. so back to the sloth part, i skipped training today, and now i feel so remorseful. well done well done.

the first week of school was tiring, i have no idea why. i think it's because i've been so used to sleeping late, and my body's not adapted to this not-so whole new lifestyle, uhm, again. i need more sleep, and more holidays. tuesdays to friday will kill me, indefinately. no doubt about that. i and i'll feel pathetic, but it'll only last for so long - i hope, it'll just seem like drowning in endless, slow-paced time, trying to hang on to anything that'll keep my mind off wandering. i wonder alot, especially when i'm alone, and when time is on my side. if i could nickname myself, i would call myself Wonder Man - but that'll probably have a better effect if i'm a girl, because then i'll be Wonder Woman.

i have a strange feeling the underwear gnomes's not just a folklore, because my clothes are disappearing. My tennis jersey, and one other t-shirt has gone missing, and it has baffled both me and the mother - who blames me for misplacing it. why the hell would i misplace my own shirts, WHERE THE HELL CAN I MISPLACE THEM?

it's been two weeks since
you left from this town
three more days then
you'll be home to save me
from this winter chill
christmas lights in different
shades of blue
i looked so pale
i feel so sick
to not be here with you

just tell me that
you miss me too
youve been gone for too long

please tell me everything about your stay
swear i'll listen to the end
even if you dont make sense now
december never was this dull before
ill wait for your return
just tell me youll return

and i
need you to be back home with me now
the snow outside means nothing when you're gone
everything i needed is in you
so please come back

& i can totally relate to this song now. dyad.

world's apart - jars of clay

2006-06-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

now playing world's apart
artist jars of clay
mood incomplete

"because what i need and what i love are world's apart"
----------

dear God,
i haven't exactly been the perfect christian,
i haven't stepped into church for a long time,
& i haven't exactly been praying
but you've always been real to me
and i know that you are there - just one experience with you is enough
to show me you're real.
so i'm asking you, to be real now
bless what i have, who i have, and what i'm gonna have.
bless this dyad, and take this into your hands
in Jesus's most precious, and holy name

amen

humans have a way of judging things they don't understand, and because of this lack of comprehension they fear what they see, or mock it. Like when a person runs around in a circle; they call him crazy. But when planets do that, they call it 'orbiting'.

but what i have now is almost close to perfection, minus the distance, and it would be another eden.

anthem of our dying day - story of the year

2006-06-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

now playing anthem of our dying day
artist story of the year
mood tired

"up here the city lights burn, like a thousand miles of fire"
----------

my birthday came and went like any other day, except maybe it resounded a bit more louder than any other days. i laid down at night, and it suddenly occured to me that i'm a year older, i'm fucking 18, and i shouldn't be so childish anymore - but then i think again, what would life be without some fun, so i decided to cast the stupid idea of becoming mature and i'm deciding to stay the way i am til age finally catches up with me more, along with it's tell-tale signs of wrinkles and facial hair aplenty. thank you Sandra, nat, and gang who threw me the surprise party at my place - i really appreciate it. and thank you everyone who was present.

On nat, and shane and cheese, i'm glad we caught up after such a long time. i was held at knife-point to say this, SHANE SO HOT!

On new friends that rocks; Geraldine and Questal and Kairen and Hsing Yee. Oh so hot, they make the sun look like melted cheese. & on Old friends like Waiaung, i wouldn't deny there were some misunderstanding a few days before your birthday, but i'm glad you're still a big part of my life all the same.

On school reopening, it sucks so many balls. there really isn't anything much i can say about school because both you and i know nobody would want school, not to mention homework and projects and tests. my only solace are my friends in class.

now if you'll excuse me, i have some business over at dyad. =]]

lullaby - pedro the lion

2006-06-23T01:39:00.000+08:00

now playing lullaby
artist pedro the lion
mood elated

"& i'm all the strength that you need"
----------

boy, this week sure went by fast. so fast i hardly had the time to breathe properly, or maybe it's because the excitement was weighing down on me, watching me choke - but whose complaining. especially when i lay down at night, knowing well enough that i wouldn't wake up the next morning a sad, lonely boy.

i'm not exactly excited about my birthday, because that would mean school has started. and i still have training on that day, which means i'll be in school from 8am to 9pm. what a great way to spend my birthday, golly. i haven't have much to update also, it's all too juicy to be penned down. ho ho ho.

baby if you wanted me to, i'd do anything for you
just say the word, and i'll give you the world
but that's not good enough
baby if you wanted me to, why don't you say so
~~& just let me go~~
coz i can't shine, bright enough for you

your own disaster - taking back sunday

2006-06-19T10:19:00.000+08:00

now playing your own disaster
artist taking back sunday
mood nostalgic

"from those nights when we were both found at our best"
----------

[edit]god, i can't stand this waiting game. i need some form of contact, any form. =\ msquerading my frown with a smile wouldn't help much because i'm sure you know me better than anyone else does. if i could somehow channel this energy into moving an object with just my thought, i'd probably be the best telekinetic in the world. screw blaine and copperfield, this is the new shit! i need sweet(every pun intended).[/edit]

i could hardly find time to breathe, let alone update. so today's actually a breather for me. my body's aching, finally from the whole of last week, the run on saturday almost killed me, but this hardly compares to what's coming after next. the long awaited Malaysia Trip, brocolli style.

school vacation's coming to an end, which means it's gonna be a start of a whole new semester of terror - only bigger. more tests, more work, more projects, and more fucking ups, prolly. but i do miss school, i miss my friends in class, how we laugh at everyone, and everything. how we would desperately try to convince ourselves that one more lecture-skip isn't gonna do much harm - though some of us know better. MY DAMN BIRTHDAY FALLS ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL REOPENING, GODAMMIT. i wish holidays wouldn't end so soon, i haven't had much time with what i really want, and though malaysia trip would definately grant me that, it's still not enough, never gonna be enough.

i hate it when plans fuck up, it's not that i have a problem with either parties, i have a problem with how everything in my life works, everytime something goes so smoothly, and i'm beginning to pick up speed, something always comes fuck it up - and that's really disheartening. yeah, i get sad over it, i get upset over it, but i get OVER it too - just blame it on my damn life. only i'm not gonna let it spoil my mood, because that'll mean less happy time, and that's the last thing i want now is it? Ah, screw everything that sucks, like my computer's connection that keeps jacking itself off, like my stomach that keeps getting hungry, screw barney and his purple suit, screw losing wallets because i don't have anymore money, but do not screw up this perfection i have now - i will hunt you down.

it's all perfect, it's all so good. chicken thighs and brocolli.

i wish you were here - incubus

2006-06-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

now playing i wish you were here
artist incubus
mood thought-filled

"i lean against the wind; pretend that i am weightless"
----------

C
watch another movie;
play another song
read another passage in the book
spend another hour
not just another day
& i hope i don't feel way too much i'm falling asleep

i sure hope that you'll always know i miss you
& i hope that when you sleep you're looking up
coz when i rest i think of all those tired times
& i can't sleep
when you're gone

those closed eyes remind me of what we have
so please don't open them yet

I wish you were here

gone - switchfoot

2006-06-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

now playing gone
artist switchfoot
mood hungry

"life is a day that doesn't last for long"
----------

so marks the beginning of school vacation, two-fucking-weeks of stressless, workless, & teacherless days. life couldn't get better than this - wait, could it? it most definately could. vacation also indicates the time of the year where old friends catch up, new friends bond, & handlocked rejoices. everything feels so damn mighty fine now that nothing bothers me - except for the irritating msn that keeps sigining me off and on, i have no idea if it's the connection problem, or msn's just being very very naughty. either one's still a killjoy. especially when you're in the middle of a decent conversation.

so, ashsaldkadom;ewb, UP YOURS MSN!

mom's back from china, and she got me two singlets which i'm probably just gonna wear at home, so there's so use getting all bouncy over it. what i'm bouncing over is of course, a very new pair of adidas shoes, it's light brown and white, and i swear it puts every of my other pair of shoes to shame. & a nike dryfit. LONG LIVE THE MOM! =] & of course i'm bouncing over brocolli too, but that's an entirely different story is it now? i'm sure glad my mom's back, no more shortage of clothes, no more shortage of food - now that's something i wouldn't wanna live with for more than a week, and no more silences at home. it might sound strange, but i actually miss her constant nagging, her laughter and her voice, and the sound of the thunderous vacumn cleaner every morning. but now that it's all back, it doesn't seem that much inviting anymore - funny how brain works.

oh boy, i can't wait til the week after this, when the REAL fun begins. more more more more more Yakun, Momo, and Chalets.

this is your life - switchfoot

2006-06-09T11:09:00.000+08:00

now playing this is your life
artist switchfoot
mood onthemoon

"& when the world was younger, you had everything to lose"
----------

[instructions]:state eight different points of your ideal lover. mention gender. tag eight others to do it.

[gender of ideal lover]: male
1) MUST BE hot
2) gives me the cream side of oreos
3) momos with me
4) feeds me twister fries
5) has old school bed
6) buys me aloe vera gel
7) licks my ear
8) shops at east coast with me

[gender of ideal lover]: female
1) sporty
2) not too tall, unfortunately
3) doesn't whine - much
4) listens to dashboard
5) don't ask rhetorical questions like "am i fat?"
6) nice
7) sweet
8) hot

eight ppl to do this on their blog :
1) sandra
2) natasha
3) shane
4) collin
5) stephanie
6) jolene
7) sharon
8) anyone else whose reading this shit

HANNARH I'M DONE. Y

chop suey - system of a down

2006-06-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

now playing chop suey
artist system of a down
mood nostalgic

"so trust in my, self righteous suicide - i cry"
----------

i watched as you sat
with a cigarette in your hand,
holding a drink in the other,
trying to drown all your pain

the anticipation grows more and more, as things begin to fall so rightfully in their places. this perfection, if held up against the world in comparison, shames it. & i remember not too very long ago - two fucking years - it wasn't at all this way. the stale, cold, and childish conversations conveyed through text, & the only thing i knew was awkward silences, sure it was freshly good when it all happened; but was it really all that we wanted? all that I wanted? i wasn't sure back then, it was just fun.

well, it's an entirely different story now. way different.

the saddest song - the ataris

2006-06-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

now playing the saddest song
artist the ataris
mood hungry

"& not just burnt letters read to you"
----------

mom's away in china for holidays, & i'm beginning to miss her, her food. i have the strangest feeling my house is slowly evolving into a sty - and that's not the least bit good. i have little clothes to wear because she's not home to wash any apparels, and i miss her nagging. but i'm not complaining, of course, about the freedom and space i get. & life's not all that bad also. as mundane as my life seems to be, like school, training, food, home and all - it's actually not. because i'm happy, and i can't stop smiling - great now i sound like a clown. wait, clown? -shivers-

clowns are fucking irritating. they come onto you all happy and smiling with their damn costume, which i might add makes them look even more stupid, and crazy hair, white face, BIG FAT RED LIPS DRAWN FROM EAR TO EAR, sometimes giving out balloons. i mean, c'mon, get a life, i'd rather a happy panda mascot than a stupid clown. they creep me out, you never know what they're thinking, they might seem happy and all because of their smile when they approach you, but you haven't have the slightest idea what's going on in that perverse mind they have - i mean, really, who in their rightest state of mind would want to dress up in polka dot PJs, wear fake noses and disfigure their own faces with lipsticks and actually think they can entertain kids like that. lipsticks should stick to the lips, and stay there - not on all over the face morons. have you ever realised they always, always target small children, msquerading their hidden agenda by saying kids love them - i know better. those sick paedophiles. i'm sorry if any clowns are reading this, which i assume not because you're prolly behind your blackboard penning down your next scheme on how to attract small boys and girls into your embrace. well done. but like i said, no offence to any ~~nice~~ more sane clowns out there.

i've been a really happy boy ever since about a month ago, and i'm planning to stay that way for a very very long time - until i get married, have kids, have a house of our own.

the effects of after-training hasn't yet worn off, increased repetitions, increased intensity, and i fucking hate running. i have been running 2.4 for warm ups for as long as a month now, and 3 times a week, and i'm still gasping for air everytime i reach the finishing line. but of coure, it gets a tad bit better after every training, i guess patience does pay off.

PORRIDGE NOW PLEASE, KTHANKS =]

makers and breaker - daphne loves derby

2006-06-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

now playing makers and breaker
artist daphne loves derby
mood fuckingHAPPY

"& this aweful melody is proof that i will never breathe"
----------

[edit]tis the season for losing wallet. three different people, three different location, but only two fucking losers who stole the wallet and not return, & i'm happy that the second one was found =]

i can't wait til friday, when school's finally out for twofuckinglygood weeks, and friday's gonna be so awesome. so damn mighty fine.[/edit]

it's time now @26.8fm with derek, so what's new? nothing much, just tired, constipated, hungry, and stressed with exams, y'know, the usual. okay i was lying about the constipation part. but i think i've taken euphoria to a whole new level. all these excitement, holidays, ica-free, trainings, & chalet's making me bounce around more than big fat boobies. sea trainings has burnt me quite badly, i look more like a life-burnt lobster. and in a few days time i'll probably look like some ahpuneh - but that is what i want, tanned and not white chicken. training went swimmingly well, though i didn't capsized, only rescued. NOT COOL AT ALL.

i'm watching toy's story 2, while blogging and i can't concentrate because i was never able to multi task - especially when i'm more in the mood for something else rather than blogging >.< i'd rather be in the showers, or on my bed now than anything else. okay, commercial. the end of today sparks another week of school, long hours and that damned POA ICA on thursday. training on monday, wednesday and saturday would most definately cause me to be bed-bound for more than 12 hours during the holidays - but i'm not complaining since i'm proabably gonna wanna be bed-bound for at least 3 days and 2 nights during my holidays.

more later, lah!

check my 4months ago emo hair out!:

i don't think i'm quite the same now though. don't worry. i need food now, pizza hut's staring right at my face and i can hardly wait for gobble it down - all within my reach. food. brocolli. heaven. =]

promise - matchbook romance

2006-05-30T10:40:00.000+08:00

now playing promise
artist matchbook romance
mood nostalgic

"i fall asleep tonight; 'coz that brings me closer to you"
----------

what would you say
if i asked you not to go?
to forget everyone, forget everything
& start over with me
would you take my hand
& never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go

i feel like i've lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like
to have you here with me
i thought you should know;
you're not making this easy

make this last forever

statistics ICA is only a mere few hours away, God bless me. yesterday was a rather crappy day, i was in school the wholefuckingday, 8 to 1 lessons, studied for exams in the library from 1 to 6, and training from 6 to 9.30, only after that did it begin to get better. actually, it was splendid. although it was rather crappy, but vows remain the same. =] i don't make much sense, but i do make SOME sense, don't i? mehhh, go away if you don't understand me, i don't, myself, either. i should stop using too much wax on my hair, for two reasons:

1) i might become a bald, hairless ahpek earlier than i should - although i hope i would never ever.

2) i think it's seepaging into my brain, it's not making me think straight.

there you go. mom's going off to china this fuhriday, and i'm having the whole house to myself (except for my brother but he's always in his room with his computer so i'm pretty much alone anyway) for one whole week, joy. i'll invite friends like, over and have a massive orgy, or maybe i won't, perhaps i will plant my own brocolli farm in my room, and cook porridge.

cheer up, olabitch =] a (missing) wallet, a (discovered) cigarette pack, pales in comparison to holidays next coming week.

YSHOUTOUT: nat, you've always been so nice to me, and i can't imagine not ever knowing you. you've been a great friend, motivation and support.

hey deeks, i hope you're smart enough to know that it takes a conscious effort to get *censored*. i hope that's not your aim. you're a great person as it is and i hope you won't succumb to the temptation. love you lots. hugs.

natasha, my makanpal, goddamit =]

goodbye to you - michelle branch

2006-05-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

now playing goodbye to you
artist michelle b.
mood funky

"& when the stars fall, i will lie awake; you're my shooting star"
----------

i admire people who can multi task, because i can't. it's a damn mighty fine skill to have, like you can do multiple task all at the same point of time, and that saves you damn alot of time for other stuffs you'd wanna do. like Amanda, whose, at this very moment, chatting with me while studying. damn, i can barely talk when i rub my eyes, let alone study will doing something else. i should start learning how to though, it might come in handy.

sea training was damn mighty fine, also, except for the fact that my partner refuses to paddle and i had to paddle myself at random times. ahaha, but it's good training. i wanna be able to canoe/kayak well, it's still too early now because i'm just a virgin canoe-er, although i have had experiences in secondary school as a sports councillor - but those were just for recreational purposes. damn, i wanna be good, damn mighty good. for who? ahaha, go figure. this time we had a longer time in water, i must say paddling laps was pretty tiring. but i'm sure the seniors are doing more laps so i can't complain if i wanna be good. =]

i need new slippers. rip curl's making me slip and fall everytime it meets pavement with water. that's nothing to be proud of.

it might just be me, but time passes real slowly when you're anticipating for a coming event which you're looking real forward to. & then when it arrives, you have so much fun, that time passes real fast, and then you dread the end of it, screw time. and how time works. screw phone bills and wonky phones. OLABITCH.

man, i hope this whole week pass by fast, because i can hardly wait til next week, and holidays =\

you're gone - something corporate

2006-05-24T22:57:00.000+08:00

now playing you're gone
artist something corporate
mood euphoria

"if you don't like to be hurt, then please don't stay"
----------

[edit]i don't like losing friends, especially those you hold in high places. i've lost enough and i just can't afford anymore losses. i know it's been a long time since any of us met, and it's an obvious route for us to trail away from each other. i'm just hoping that this route doesn't take anyone of us completely off track.

& loving someone is hardly wrong; is it? i'm not confused, i'm just a little jumpy now. issues are falling on me like piles of work, much more than my academic shit. it's weighing me down. no more, please. no more. =\[/edit]

the previous post was penned plainly out of boredom, well parts of it anyway. =] so nothing much's been going on these few days, 'cept maybe for school and stuffs. i'm tired, and my legs feels almost sore enough for me to pass off as a wheel-chair bound disabled, no offence, but yeah i do. my arms ache, and my shirt's all dirty from the track. oh boy, but the satisfaction of training is unbelievable, plus i'm motivated. we're motivated, who we? well, go figure. i'm seriously gonna die for my In Course Assesment (ICA), something like a commen test but worse, because i'm ~~quite~~ actually very clueless about what's going on academically. i need to study, i'll probably go somewhere overnight and study soon, before my test commences. ECP's macdonald's the perfect choice.

my hunger has gone increasingly insatiable, even worse than before. and it seems like nothing i eat or drink can satisfy me, i need food, need food to get high. ~~i eat to live~~ i live to eat.

i haven't seen shypal for a really long time and it's not at all good because she just told me she misses me. AHAHAHA nah, i miss her too. school's been good to me, i'm blessed with friends that're not at all what i originally percieved what my classmates would be. they're funny and random, some much more random than i am - and we love yohgurts. i'm tired, really tired and i haven't gots the slightest sanity to blog about anything serious, so i'm just letting my fingers do the thinking, and it's obviously not doing a very good job because i've re-read the entire post and i realised it's rubbish. but i'm going to publish it anyway because i'm not gonna let the past few minutes of random typing go to waste, this is art - appreciate it or fuck off. ahaha.

my idea of heaven is my own place, with a brocolli garden, pool and pool table, and a green mazda 3. without a care in the world. why am i telling you this? because you can donate now to the save-derek-give-money funds, and God will surely bless you.

a lonely september - plain white T's

2006-05-23T11:29:00.000+08:00

now playing a lonely september
artist plain white T's
mood hungry

"& one thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind"
----------

it's computer class time again, and it's as boring as hell - maybe even worse. i'm stuck here doing front page and i hate it, because it's more confusing than normal html. #!@)(!@*()!

i've included herein lines from songs that mean something to me, a lot of things to me actually. many would think i'm being random, or simply bored out of my mind - but i'm sure my vegepal would know otherwise. =]

just let me hold you, i'll be gentle i won't drop you this time i'll be careful.

& even if you cannot hear my voice; i'll be right beside you dear

bedshaped; and legs of stone. you knock on my door, and time will tell, in white lights - i don't think so

& this is the way that i say i need you, this is the way that i say i love you; this is the way that i say i'm yours

more updates later when i get home =]

distance - evan and jaron

2006-05-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

now playing distance
artist evan and jaron
mood happy

"i'm not ashamed; that i can't take a breath without saying your name"
----------

i give up, i'm not gonna be bothered about my damn wallet. whats the point in getting all pissy over this issue, i figured. i've got other major stuffs to worry about, stuffs like ICA which is coming soon. i haven't been at all studying, or paying attention in class. it's not because i'm distracted by something else - okay fine maybe just a little -, it's because i'm clueless about what's going on. It's like, i swear everytime i step into Econs lecture, i feel like i'm stepping into hongkong. i know what he's talking about, i just don't understand - yes just like chinese. screw econs, and screw chinese.

now where did that come from? chinese is hella-random.

the journey to kallang sea-sports place was pretty long, but insightful. along the way, under the bridge, i couldn't help but notice the many different homeless people lying asleep on cardboxes, or just plain concrete floor. it wasn't at all fun to see them suffering, i realised my life isn't at all that bad. not at all. when i grow up, i'll donate money to save-people-who-lives-under-the-bridge foundation and be a charitable business man =D although they'd probably use the money and like buy cigarettes or something, so it's not really helping.

& that wasn't the point of this post, i ramble too much for my own good, y'know? sea training was pretty fun, and i do mean the whole thing. even the statics was pretty good, i mean how many other ways can we have fun with friends and/while not become a fat, belly-bulging nehnehpok in school whom all the girls keep at least a radius of 10metres away from. we didn't do much canoe-ing yet, only like for an hour or something because it was supposed to be a fun training, for our first sea-training. i don't know what's that about, but it was cool because some friendships were forged and i hope it'll stay that way. & i hope i'll be good at canoeing after more trainings because i don't wanna be a bench warmer - if they even have benches, but i trust you guys are smart enough to know what i mean. if you don't, well, God loves you still.

i hate people who does and checks their hair before peeing, in the public toilet. i have a very good reason for that, but i'm not gonna tell you because i'm shy.

chris's birthday celebration - again, happy birthday bro - my only guy friend in class whose in canoeing with me

remember to breathe - dashboard confessional

2006-05-19T00:43:00.000+08:00

now playing remember to breathe
artist dashboard confessional
mood fuckinglousy

"remember to breathe; & everything, would be okay"
----------

i'm feeling lousy, so damn mighty lousy. i lost my wallet, and along with it my UOB and POSB atms, 50+ bucks, Identification Card, & my NYP student admin card. it's not very fun, and to go about the whole process of getting back every item's fucking tedious - except for the cash because i can forget about it. i feel so genuinely lousy, i feel stranded without my ez-link because i can't get around with ease, and i feel broke because i don't have any cash with me right now. everything's locked up in the bank, and my only access to it's gone too.

IC costs 100fuckingbucks if you lose it once, it's definately not a small sum for me, or anybody else.

my only hope is that if, God Please Forbid, anyone did take my wallet, at least have enough courtesy to return my cards. or better yet, let God blind everyone on bus 13 and have the bus drivers at the SBS station pick up my wallet and return my fucking phone call. i'm half expecting my phone to ring, adhered with an unknown number, i pick up and a comforting voice says:

"'scuse me, is this Mr Derek Cai? yes, we found your wallet, could you make your way down to [whatever place] station and collect it?"

YES FUCK YES I WILL!. i'm dreaming my life away. =\ okay i shall stop whining, i've beaten myself up quite awhile already.

kayaking/canoeing training was not that intensive, although i left with wobbly legs and aching arms, but it was great. we've been called down for sea training on saturday, and i'm damn happy because. well, just because. =] finally, my skin gets to meet mr sun again, after such a long time. damn long time. this i'm happy about because training/selection on wednesday has left me rather satisfied with myself, i feel accomplished. but the stinking wallet incident had to come mess with my mind. where's my damn brocolli? >.<

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS.

i shall wallow in self-pity again, have heart and cry over my demise - if you're my friend. s'long.

gone away - something corporate

2006-05-16T10:38:00.000+08:00

now playing gone away
artist something corporate
mood bored

"& if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay"
----------

again, this time of the week. i'm stuck in computer class - but at least i'm learning something i'm pretty much familiar with. i was introduced to the world of html by jolenethegreat and adobe photoshop - although i must admit i wasn't very good at either one when i first started out. i'm not saying i'm great now, but at least better & good enough to maintain a blog. but i doubt i have a lot of readers anyway. i came up with a conclusion: either 1) i'm not popular enough or 2) most of my readers are plain lazy/assholes who doesn't tag my board. i'd like to think the latter is a more likely reason but who am i kidding?

i've been sick for quite awhile, after constant headaches and sorethroat, now i'm smite with the fuckingirritable flu. i'm full of phlegm... phlegmful. =\ my nose leaks, my throat tickles, and i feel like i'm drowning in a sea of phlegm - omfgomfgomfgomfgomfg. but apart from being sick, everything else's just fine. damn mighty fine. why? i'll leave it up to you to decide for yourself why.

i can't stop momonevershying.

cherylsim! one of the bestest friend i ever had, and i missed her birthday on thursday. i ought to be shot, like a million times and die over and over again in perpetual vanguishes =\ i'm so sorry! i'll make it up so you.

porcelain - cauterize

2006-05-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

now playing porcelain
artist cauterize
mood happy

"& the morning always fails me"
----------

& i'm sharing a drink with a memory
& a laugh with an empty seat
do you still look the same
will you still look at me the same

'coz i know that i don't
i've gotten so old in these last few years
i'd rather be fighting with you than
sleeping here;
next to her

don't let me fall i'll break
what a mess i'd make
pathetic pieces on your floor
will cut your feet forever more
you're porcelain
such fragile skin
just let me hold you
i'll be gentle
i won't drop you this time
i'll be careful

I WON'T DROP YOU THIS TIME I'LL BE CAREFUL

run - snow patrol

2006-05-13T22:27:00.000+08:00

now playing run
artist snow patrol
mood bouncing

"even when you cannot hear my voice; i'll be right beside you dear"
----------

[edit] okay fine, i forgot this line. Sandra's pretty and she's cute and she owes me csb [/edit]

time for ammends, i'm sorry for missing-in-action. i have a few good reaons, 1) because i was sick, i was down with sorethroat and constant headaches. 2) i had school? 3) i was busy. okay not a very convincing persuasive reason but that's all i can come up with for now. Project's starting to come in fast and hard on me, tutorials, and the need to keep up the pace with my class. I'm honestly clueless about Econs and Statistics, and it's not very good because those are very major modules. Yeah, which is why i'm slacking in front of my computer now at 10.44pm eating cold mcwings instead of studying =\ i'm quite a bummer, and i admit i am. man, i'm sucha cheebye. haha. my vocab's been piling up ever since, well haha.

school's been pretty much okay, except for the fact that *ICAs are coming up, projects, tutorials, classes and lectures. Other than that, school's fine =\ wait, aren't those the majority of school events. haha, are you tryna be funny derek? because it's not working, clearly. i'm sucha spas:

this picture proves it all, how school can mutate an extremely normal boy, into someone that scares even himself.

gah, box your face. don't worry, i don't look like that everywhere i go, i was forced to look spatic, and if you don't believe me you can just fuckoff. 'coz not, you're nice coz you're reading, but you probably know who i am so you'd know i don't look like that. but if you do know me and you still think i'm spas, maybe you shouldn't tell me because i'll scratch your face.

nevernevernevernevernevernever. i shy. =]

*ICAs (In Course Assesments) are meant as a test after several weeks of studying to asses our work, and to gauge where we are. stupid if you ask me, because i never liked tests.

champagne supernova - oasis

2006-05-09T10:16:00.000+08:00

now playing champagne supernova
artist oasis
mood bored

"someday you will find me caught beneath a landslide"
----------

i can't begin to decribe the level of bored-ness that is inhabiting me at this very moment. lousy module. i had no intention of updating in school, but since it's really boring (this tutorial), i'm gonna try and update as much as possible.

1) i'm sitting next to my class's miss freshie, and i have nothing around me other than her. okay fine, i lied; there's a lousy OHP right in front of me.

2) i burnt my middle finger

3) i tried reallyreallyfuckingreally hard just to come up with this layout, so if you have any negative comments - please go away. but if otherwise, feel free to comment =] i haven't really been in the layout mood, or any mood for that matter.

4) i hope no one else plays me out on wednesday for Kayaking training. Because i'd hate to go for the first training alone. i'll feel superfucking vulnerable, and not to mention shy =\ i don't like last minute rejects - unless it's a good reason, i'm most likely to get pissed.

5) i've updated my Ad's page, just kindly click on the last little Y and check out what's new. If you are desperately in need of t-shirts with unique designs, customed designs, than you should stop reading whatever i'm saying now and hop on over to my Advert because my friend is stenciling shirts of good quality, and trust me her designs are fabulously remarkable, i'm not overstating. besides she charges it at really afforable prices, even the poorest of all pauper can afford them. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

6) i'm glad that there might be a new beginning =]

i really haven't gots anything else to add, i'll update more at home. so for now, sayonara.

screaming infidelities - dashboard confessional

2006-05-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

now playing screaming infidelities
artist dashboard confessional
mood not good

there's not a word i comprehen, 'cept when you signed it i love you always and forever
----------

i haven't been exactly free to blog, nor was i free for a lot of stuffs. school and class activities had me all tied down. it's not a good thing, obviously. but i don't see myself complaining too. and if it's something i don't complain about, then it's something i'm not worrying about. and that worries me. because i've been told that i'm neglecting a lot of my friends because of school, and activities - following that, the growing fatigue-ness that generates a barrier. why? because i'm usually online until pretty late, chatting and catching up with friends. also i was never tired, or rather, so tired to the fact that meeting up was a problem. but i confess it's a growing concern now. i'm sorry, although i must say i don't think i'm really at fault here, but still i really am sorry. i don't understand the angst, i don't understand at all.

mk0603 barbecue was fun, although the food wasn't aplenty, and the fact that i only ate like 2chicken wings, and 918239123912 hotdogs and crabsticks. but the breeze was just fine, the bike ridings, the sea-tossing, the singing, the general connection was quite evident. of course there was my clique whom i got a little more aquainted(sp?) to. and of course, mr Brocolli =]

i'm not going to go on about the mother's day celebration at my aunts on saturday. a) because i'm just plain lazy and my fingers aren't very flexible after sleeping for 14hours straight. b) mother's day is still a week away and i'm celebrating it a week before with my extended family - not a very sane idea? c) it was pretty boring

there you go, an update. for more lowjack, feel free to comment =]

promise - matchbook romance

2006-04-28T12:28:00.000+08:00

now playing promise
artist matchbook romance
mood apathetic

"i fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you"
----------

quite some time since i've updated. i haven't had the time to, life's not quite the same as before since school started. i've been coming home late for the past few days, earliest 9, latest 11. and to add on to that, insomnia hasn't lose it's foothold on me - much. i'm still having trouble getting a shut-eye every now and then, but since school has an innate ability to tire me out more than holidays can, i still manage to get sleep. but it's barely enough for a growing, small boy like me.

school has been very kind to me, and i realise the environment isn't very much different from secondary/junior college. only with a few more extra hectares put in. & i'm happy that quite a few ex classmates/schoolmates are in the same school as i am now, it makes walking around campus less fearful. this has taught me that it wasn't familiarity that i was adhered to that caused the initial fear of school. or rather, wasn't JUST familiarity. i was too caught up with my old life, and i wasn't sure if i could open up to a new phase. i tried so hard to ignore the fact that i'm growing up. but i know better now,

quote; "...sometimes you have to move out to move on"quote

sometimes a person can rely on things they are more adapted to for emotional needs, not able to find acceptance in things outside of their comfort zone.

just a little juicy bit in my mind that i thought outta be fed to my blog since i haven't touched it for quite sometime. perhaps we should move on to a happier note.

i'm having lunch, and getting ready for work(tuition) which'll commence in 'bout an hour. after after that, volleyball tryout. and i pray i'll get a good sleep tonight. Amen to that.

hey there delilah - plain white T's

2006-04-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

now playing hey there delilah
artist plain white t's
mood giggly

"time square can't shine as bright as you do"
----------

this is the result of an over boring accountings lecture:

a total of 6 participants took part in this penning of atrocious storyline. namely, madonna, yijun, angel, weeqing, tah yuen and yours truly. this was how it went:

i saw cinderella today,
she was wearing a pink dress.
she said she was hungry for Ban Mian,
so i went to get her some boards (english for Ban).
she went to the toilet,
and realised a guy was pee-ing,
so she started crying and called for her fairy god mother.
the guy turned around and she realised he WAS her fairy god mother.
"my name is coco, c - o - c - o that's how it goes, yo yo" said the fairy gay mother, oops i meant the god mother.
so fairy gm took her wand(again, every pun intended) and gave Cinderella a p***s.

( warning, the following sentences might contain graphics not suitable for those aged 16 and below)

continued
Cinderella was very happy, and started pulling on her d**k in and out, hardening.
Alright this is getting dirty but she has to go on moaning away "oh yes!"
now came the, quote on quote, handsome prince who appears to have bo*bs.
Big bo*bs, damn big bo*obs! Cinderella started playing with them and the prince started playing with Cinderella's d**k.
"that's the longest i've seen" said the prince, who was actually a b***la - and suddenly the prince's bo*bs fell out.
they were actually porcupines.
the porcupines got angry and shot their spikes all over cinderella and pierced both her eyes.
one of the porcupines bit her pe**s, and the other bit the b*lls, ding dong b*lls.
they were screaming blue murder, just then the fairy god mother gave them a magickal potion.
In split seconds, Cinderella lost her b*lls, and the prince lost his bo*bs, and they lived happily ever after.

end. yes this is what you get when you put hormonal boys and girls together in a room with a lecturer with the voice of a mice and attention-getting scope of not more than a teaspoon. and, more to come! meet my newly adopted pet, his name is Dodo and he's a hedgog, be nice and feed him:

adopt your own virtual pet!

i'm gonna have supper now, i bid all of you fare well, and i'm sorry for the really random post.

kent loves gig harbour - daphne loves derby

2006-04-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

now playing kent loves gig harbour
artist daphne loves derby
mood hungry

"so please tell me you love me, because i need to hear that lie"
----------

you know the ever flowing inspirational feeling you get when you start blogging? like how you can type non stop and never run out of words to say, or how you can go on and on about an issue brought up by yourself, media or friends? well, apparently i'm not getting anything from the damn muse right now, so pardon me if i sound mundane.

there's one great thing about my class, and one extreme flaw. & that's wednesdays/fridays and tuesdays - consecutively. I have no classes on wed and fridays, while tuesdays are just plain killjoys'. we have classes from 8am, to 6pm. but in the midst of endless slaughtering lectures and tutorials, i'm glad my class isn't one that'll bore me out, and we're always bumping into scandalkhaki and shypal since we're all in business school, frequent laughters aren't at all uncommon. awesome-o.

club crawl was pretty much a mess today, not that every booth was a complete disaster. it's because i hate crowds, and i can't seem to concentrate well when i'm walking against human traffic. WHAT? i'm just a small weeeetle boy in the beeg beeeeg world, sniffles. my nose gets wonky (WONKA BARS yum) when i'm subjected to crowds, and i hate getting lost. it's almost as embarrassing as falling down in front of the prime minister. okay, back to club crawl CCA booths, i was endorsed in the glory of many many many CCAs, and i had my name put down in quite a number of them.

KAYAKING/CANOEING, one of the main ones that attracted me. the tan i get will probably do me good since i'm getting all fair now, and it's not the least bit good. i miss my charcoal days, although i get teased pretty much by every friend. but blackie sounds a-hell-lot better than white chicken, y'know.

TENNIS, also. i'm hoping i'd get into the school team, although with only that much training and experience in millennia, i doubt i can. but i'll just give it a shot, if i don't, though, i'm not gonna pay 80bucks for training - it's way to expensive for a poor bloke like me - sigh

VOLLEYBALL, any form of sports is good. and volleyball players are pretty much an all rounder, plus i love the beach. so it's definately one of the higher choices - & 1/2 of my class are all joining volleyball. so hey, monkey see monkey do, right? only i'm not a monkey. & of course, because my beloved scandalkhaki's the captain for volleyball - yes - the one who's selling me her books at a MUCH more cheaper price. yay, Y sk.

School of Business Management Club, well they only have one meeting a month, so if i'm looking for a second CCA just mainly for the points. then i've hit the right spot, bingo.

FOREIGN BODIES & CAMPUS CRUSADE, the former was pretty much a group call. everyone signs, everyone joins, everyone writes, and derek follows. and the latter was just rubbish - thanks ah, allison.

okay i'm ending off here, my fingers are getting a tad bit tired.

eleven - taking back sunday

2006-04-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

now playing eleven
artist taking back sunday
mood awake

"maybe it wasn't good enough, but i gave you all i could"
----------

this is life. sipping champange(sp?), laptop on my lap, cool breeze blowing through my hair, in my sexy automobil - i wish. i'm not Jennifer Lopez. But this is alright too, laptop with fully functional buttons unlike my Samsung who decided to go all wonky on me. Eating supper, penning down my thoughts for today. I feel like a freelance journalist - which of course is one of the top jobs, one of MY top jobs. although i'm pretty sure a diploma in marketing isn't gonna bring me anywhere close to this target, but i'll work on it i guess.

everyone's getting so emotional nowadays, and as i'm speaking - i'm having 3 friends pouring out to me. too emo, way too emo. just like the weather, it's been wet for a ~~few~~ lot of weeks. & it doesn't seem like its gonna stop for awhile. so while the sun is having it's vacation on the other side of the clouds, i'm being tormented by the wet weather. it's not just the flu, my Sinus is getting pretty out of hand - i probably should get one of those nose strip thing i saw today in school during Marketing lecture.

"Make's breathing so easy, you can do it in your sleep"

haha, this sorta made me laughed for awhile. pretty innovative stuff, it's sposta open up your nostrils like bigger, so probably more air can enter or something? i don't know. BUT I NEED THAT, ESPECIALY NOW. i'm having green stuff coming out of my nose, and my voice sounds weird when i try talking, and sleep hasn't been all perfect. okay fine, if i don't get my Nose Strips, at least give me eva, i bet she'd put me to sleep with ease.

meet SHY PAL and SCANDAL KHAKI =]] they're they very best ones you can find around here, and i'm very proud to say they're taken - they're probably the only ones in store too. so whine not, ask me nicely and i MIGHT share. might.

hands down - dashboard confessional

2006-04-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

now playing hands down
artist dashboard confessional
mood elated

"hands down, this is the best day i can ever remember

& you kissed me like you meant it"
----------

in a few days time and school'll be commencing. yet i hold great excitement in the coming day, yes excitement and anticipation. NYP Sbm Orientation gave me something more than experience. At first, it didn't really excite me that much, because i wasn't at all prepared for a tertiary life. Like i've said, familiarity always hand held me, and i guess i've been pretty much over reliant on that fact - but i'm glad to say Mk0603 isn't at all boring, nor are they a bunch of nerdos. On the contrary, they're probably the coolest bunch of teenagers i've came across my entire life. Okay maybe i exagerated a little, but c'mon, whose told the truth online since they invented cyber sex. HAHA okay that was random.

SHARON and VIVIAN (the incredible OGLS) struck me as two hyperactive comedians. Viv couldn't remember our names, and went around asking for like 129381232109 times. Sharon just, couldn't seem to sit down - much. But of course, our class wouldn't be the same without them. It was fun while it lasted, but like all things great, it has to come to an end. i'm not gonna whine and dine over this because i know i'll be seeing everyone in school the coming years - but i AM gonna say i love the Orientation, i love Sharon and Vivian, and above all - i love mk0603 =]

it's gonna be three long years, three hard years, but one hell of a ride =]

this is your life - switchfoot

2006-04-12T06:18:00.000+08:00

now playing this is your life
artist switchfoot
mood nervous

"when the world was younger; and you had everything to lose"
----------

it's 6.24am in the morning, and i'm done preparing myself - physically, not mentally - for the orientation that's commencing in about an hour and a half's time. Rachel's gonna be late for breakfast, so i'm meeting her at 6.45am instead, that sloth. tsk. i'm kidding. i'm all panicky now because (a) i have no idea what my classmates are gonna be like (b) i'm hungry and i get cranky when i'm hungry (c) i woke up at 5.30.

MONICA, i've realised what the tagging game is, and how unfortunately, i only realise it a month after you tagged me. this might make me sound more retarded than i already am, but rest assure readers, it's only mild. so i'm gonna play it now (i'm doing this to keep my mind off the might-be nerve wrecking orientation in awhile):

Rules: The first player of this game starts with the topic 5 weird facts about yourself, and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 weird facts as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Do not forget to leave a comment that says, You are tagged in their blog and tell them to read yours.

5 weird things about myself:
1. i like to sleep cross-legged, it makes me feel safe warm.
2. i used to day dream that i was a cross breed of spiderman and superman, y'know, like spinning webs and having ulimited strength while saving innocents.
3. i hate durians, even though most Singaporeans are known to love this 'king of fruits'.
4. eatings carrots makes me feel like shitting.
5. never point at me for any longer than 5 seconds, because i'll start laughing.

there you go, satisfied? that took me 15-fucking-minutes. alright, i'm tagging now: Sandra, Esther, Felicia, Shane, Natasha, Stephanie.

(ps. matt i would've tagged you but i already know all the weird things you do)
(pps. jolene i would've tagged you but you already played this game, besides, i think i know you well enough - at least i hope)

don't look back in anger - oasis

2006-04-11T05:18:00.000+08:00

now playing don't look back in anger
artist oasis
mood hungry yummy

"& so sally can wait, she knows it's too late 'cause we're walking on by"
----------

boy what a long day it was, and boy was it long. what? okay i'm not making sense. so lets start all over again from the beginning. i slept around 7, and woke up about 1 because i had tuition with the kid, yes the one whom i blogged about a few days back. so i crunched on my non-existence breakfast-lunch and headed down to Bishan. i hate walking down the path to his place, it's creepy and always wet - and my slippers hasn't got much friction due to poor quality (yeah, screw ripcurl) and i always slip. and it's just my luck that everytime i slip, someone walks pass me. JUST MY DAMN LUCK. like i said, it's a creepy and almost-abandoned path, and what are the chances of people walking pass you - especially while you're slipping on wet ground. well, apparently lady luck hasn't been shining her glory on me. so i shall stop whining and move on, yes i shall.

so i got home from tuition about 5.30 and started getting ready for Felicia's party. i had to help my mom take out the trash, test her cooking, shower, get dressed (and of course picking out a suitable outfit ), and do my hair all in half an hour, and i had to answer calls, one which happened to be who i'm supposed to meet to go town with. so Matt was gonna be late, & i had to go there on my own. poor me, sniffles. For those who know me well, i'm not much of a multi tasking person, hell i can't even concentrate on talking while rubbing my eyes. but of course my focus would be on Eva Longoria if i ever do get a chance to even exchange glances with her - but more on that later. so i hopped down to town happily, only to realise that i don't know 3/4 of the people there, and i was already halfway there.

NOW WHERE IS THAT DAMN MATT, THAT STUPID WAFFLES.

but the night turned out pretty well,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICIA

stupid Acid Bar doesn't allow me and a few others to enter because our birthday hasn't passed yet, what faggots. but Coffee Club was just fine, because all i needed was food, food and more food anyway - so who cares about alcohol and music. FOOD GLORIOUS, FOOD yummytummyfumbfumb. So the usual Birthday Song at 12am, and blowing of candles, and loud cheering and clapping and derek stealing the whole mudpie. no i'm just kidding i'm not that bad a boy, y'know? i know you know, tee hee. Spent the next few hours playing games, wandering Orchard and finally ended up at the new skate park. took a few pictures and it started drizzling.HOME SWEET HOME.

again, i'm held knife-point by the birthday girl to say She's very pretty tonight - Felicia. Well you were. so again, happy birthday.

secondly, please remind me to get new slippers so as to not have derekthealmighty slip at random times along that cuh-reepy path while having strangers stare at me, and of course rushing to a certain corner laughing, those heartless jerks.

thirdly, Eva and I are gonna officially get married later, in about 5 minutes time, so sweet dreams derek.

and lastly, forgive me because i'm really tired, poooooo.... fare-thee-well and good-the-night =]

buried myself alive - the used

2006-04-09T07:04:00.000+08:00

now playing buried myself alive
artist the used
mood sleepy

"now if you want me back; you're gonna have to ask"
----------

it's 7am, i'm having a hard time sleeping after waking up. It's not the least bit good, & because i'm having ample time on my hands, i've decided to listen to monica and change my layout. Apparently pink isn't at all popular among everyone. WHAT'S WRONG!? but anyways, i've got so much time, so i thought wth, fine i'll just make one more - and this is what i came up with. Not at all fancy, but at the same time not TOO fanciful to be termed homo. LMAOLOLROFL.

everyone should listen to dashboard because if everyone listens to dashboard, then everyone'll be cool like i am, well at least cooler than before anyway. But dc can be quite emo, and it can get pretty annoying sometimes, just like happy people.

okay i need my sleep. boo.

a plain morning - dashboard confessional

2006-04-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

now playing a plain morning
artist dashboard confessional
mood dreamy

"you wrote the words
i love you
and sprayed it with perfume
it's better than the fire is -
to heat this lonely room"
----------

i'm in love with dashboard,
they make me feel so light,
& wavery - i know i'm not making much sense but thats how it is for me thank you very muchly. today went by pretty quickly, i woke up late, like 6 hours late so i couldn't catch the softball match. again my apologies to Wenling =[ it most definately had been a long long time since i've stepped into church, and i must say it felt pretty nice to be surrounded by familiar faces all again; although i'm not much of a holy boy now . period. Jeremy said something about friends today, and it really got me. Most of us think we have true friends because they say they accept us for who we are. I mean, that's almost as comforting as hearing the ocean waves, you know that they wouldn't judge you, or look down on you - but I quote from Jeremy S:

"most people think they have friends just because these friends said they'll accept them for who they are. But they don't know that that's only part of a complete sentence"

True friendship goes beyond just acceptance, again I quote from Jeremy S:

"True friends accepts you for who you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way"

well, food for thought for the day, then
=\ pooop

this picture has nothing to do with the post, but i somehow found myself pretty amusing and i thought i should share this side of my life with you; there you go - i'm friends with a professional nose digger - Angie the nostril-curist =]

i know i should stop being so turd.

sidewalks - story of the year

2006-04-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

now playing sidewalks
artist story of the year
mood bored

"running away from the streets we knew"
----------

Introducing Tweek

[edit]i had dinner with nat and shane. & shane's other half
XD was great. we talked a lot,
or more like, i talked a lot.
and everyone laughed a lot, probably at me and not WITH me.
drats =\ hamburgers.
and now i'm exhausted, perhaps from over-talking.[/edit]

i've been tuitioning this kid(no, not Tweek you moron, that's a cartoon) for about close to 2months now,
& i'm honestly getting worried for him.
really, there are times when murderous thoughts really cross my mind,
how on earth can someone not understand such a simple concept
but, as a veryvery professional tuition teacher, i'm able to
slap myself back into reality and know for a fact that if this kid is THAT clever,
i wouldn't have cash at the end of every 8 lessons.
So i came up with a conclusion:
i shouldn't judge not-so-smart kids;
because without them, we wouldn't have fat wallets.
tsk-tsk what an evil thought,
but that's what motivates me to have the knife tuck away in the kitchen,
and not against his throat.
XD

PLUS his psle is coming,
and he isn't at all nervous about it,
but i am - at his condition he probably can only make it til the 5th question
before he starts writing numbers on the 4 sides of the eraser,
And "try again" on the last two sides,
so he can try his luck and hope for the best - no one is that lucky.
i'm going nuts, i'm coming up with new ways to integrate fun in learning,
but he always, somehow takes the fun out of it,
and replaces it with irritable questions.
It's way too much pressure, i'm becoming Tweek and i'm going to pull my hair out.
& if you don't get me, you probably don't watch Southpark,
and so you probably suck.
Cheah, i'm just kidding - you're nice 'cause you visit my blog.
so be nice and visit more often

derek will heart you manymany forever.

so cold - breaking benjamin

2006-04-06T15:13:00.000+08:00

now playing so cold
artist breaking benjamin
mood ULTRAhungry

"show me how defenseless you really are"
----------

my sleeping time has always been around 5 - 6am
and i'm always waking up around 2 - 3pm,
i'm seriously turning nocturnal
& i'm just glad my eyes are still perfectly normal -maybe with just a little tint of black underneath,
but that's it.=D *bounces all over*

i have no problems with Aunties,
but when they stop suddenly to do their little(but loud) chit-chat with their friends
that's when i get irritated,
just about enough to harbour thoughts of tormeting them:
how? well, i'll just put them in a corner of a room alone,
and watch them wriggle and suffer because they have no one to gossip with.
no offence, really to those nice Aunties who smile when they need to go pass you,
and not push their way through the crowd to stand right in front of the MRT door.
AND I WAS ATTACKED BY AN AUNTIE YESTERDAY.
i was walking up a flight of stairs, just behind this woman carrying an umbrella in her right palm.
she was swinging her arms so wide,
that the pointy end of the umbrella almost hit my face, imagine how mortified i was.imagine, just imagine walking and minding your own business,and out of nowhere, you see this sickle coming fast right into your face!
i swear! if i didn't move just in time,that fucking auntie would've knocked me right into SGH.

i watched Ultraviolet, and the special effects were damndamn cool.
i love her hair, it changes color just like that.
imagine the amount of money i can save from dyeing my hair, alot.
for more information, you can just click the last little Y and check out my review for UV,
and decide for yourself whether you wanna watch it or not.
Words are some hate it, some love it. i belong the the latter
<3>worthy are almost all done,
i'm just waiting til i have enough sites to share.
and i'm still working on my Profile,
what can i say, my life is pretty interesting
AHAHAHAHAHA derek's so funny.

i need kwehpeng badly